Thursday, February 19, 2009

Pinkalicious and Intrigue

So today I'm thinking that I should write the next great american novel. It will be all about fraud. First I will write a very scholarly paper that will be published in a very reputable magazine ... let's say, "Newsweek," "People," "The Ensign," or "Harper's Bizarre." This scholarly paper will gain national attention when a newsmagazine show like "20/20" or "Primetime" does a Sunday night special on it. Many of you may be asked for interviews -- all I ask is that you be honest and respectful to Stone (Phillips. We'll be on a first name basis by then, because not only is he hot, he's friendly, too). Stone will borderline harass the people I expose in my very scholarly paper, making them feel very agitated, indeed. He will even get a few doors slammed in his face when he asks things like "How can you live with yourself, you sneaky bad rat?" I myself will be both dignified and sympathetic in my interview. Stone will do a great job in his presentation, leading to public demand for immediate reruns. The following week, you may be asked to do an early morning interview for "Today" with Matt Lauer. All I ask is that you be honest and wink a lot. Public outcry will grow -- I mean, people will be really enraged, and demand that I write a full-length book about fraud/intrigue/deception/greed/overall crappiness. I will do it, because I will feel it is the right thing to do. I will make two million dollars and evenly divide it with all of you 'cause you're so dang cute and did such a great job with Stone and Matt. After my fifteen minutes of fame is over, I will assume a pen name and write a 562 page novel called simply "Fraud." It will become a national bestseller, possibly even outselling Harry Potter (just the first one, certainly not book seven). It will immediately become a "MUST READ" for college english classes and church groups alike. I will donate my profits to McGruff the Crimedog, and settle into a quiet and anonymous life in the country. Stone and I (and Ben, of course) will remain good friends.
Olivia was looking through Pinkalicious (what a delightful storybook) while I daydreamed. My novel may need some really great pink illustrations to go along with it. Only time will tell.

7 comments:

Jill said...

I tell ya Sister Susie - IMAGINATION you do have. You've always had.... it's a gift (I think). Well, I know it is because when you use it and tell your stories I'm entertained. I laugh. It makes me smile and be happy. Thanks Heavenly Father for giving my Rie the gift of IMAGINATION. She uses that gift often so it shouldn't be lost. She uses it for the good of others..... especially her mommy when she needs something cheery or silly or whatever you want to call it to read. Love ya most!

Jen said...

Dear Marie,

You are the best future novelist ever! Alex is great with illustrations, though his would probably be fuji green.

Love, Jen

Tara said...

I think any novel you write would be a must read. It would definately leave more people walking around with smiles after reading it and the world could use more smiles. Thanks for starting and keeping up on your blog. It makes my day every time I come to visit.

Ducksoup said...

you are too funny reeser! now an interview with matt lauer would be cool. i like that guy! and for you to earn 2 million dollars would also be grand because then you and ben could just hang out all day everyday. personally, i'd hire someone to do all my digital scrapbooking so i wouldn't have to feel like i needed to do it every spare second. thank goodness we don't have 2 millions cause then i can at least have a hobby. well i am rambling, not really sure why but i thoroughly enjoyed your post. i was actually going to send you a comment today requesting you post something and then i checked and you had already posted. woo hoo. and you really could make millions if you wrote a book. i'd even read it and probably love it and i don't know the last time i read a book. love yah!

kip said...

Amazing post. . .a must read!

Tink said...

Remember when we had a bet on who would have the first published novel (or any publication for that matter) Looks like you're going to win the bet! I'm not suprised!! You'll do great, I can't wait to read it!!

YOUR #1 SUPORTER

Tina Williams said...

Marie - You are absolutely the funniest! I'm certain that is a word. Thanks for making me laugh and giggle. I do have one request. Could I please help name some of the characters in this book? I would love to be involved - maybe then Matt will choose me to interview and I can have my 2 minutes of your 15 minutes of fame and I will let them know that I used to babysit you, and didn't feed you dinner (at least that is what you and the rest of everyone keep telling me). You are great!