Monday, April 27, 2009

Flu-Like Titles

I thought of so many attractive titles for this post that I decided to put it to a vote. For your consideration, I offer:

"I Don't Believe In Swine-Flu; I Just Believe In Me."
(Thank you, John Lennon)
"Down With Pig-Flu, Up With Veggie-Flu."
(Sort of Biblical, really)
"Why I Don't Believe In Pigs; and Other Imaginary Tales."
(Book Deal)
"Marie's Take On Why Swine Demand So Much Attention."
(Options here are endless)
"Revenge Of The Swine."
(Movie coming to a Theater near you)
"Wasn't It Swine That Shared With The Prodigal Son?"
(There's a lesson here!)
"Pigs, Birds, Octopus, and Other Mental Illness."
(I should have included Mad-cow)
"This Little Piggy."
(I'm reaching)
"Handy Neighbors Teach Hydration To Prevent Flu Nastiness."
(Thanks, girls -- very interesting)
"Dear Editor: Should I Be Concerned I Have A Sore Throat?"
(Cold-eeze preferable)
"Did You Know I Love Pigs?"
(Seriously, they're adorable)
"So Do You Think Swiney Will Affect Immigration?"
(Republicans, what are your views?
Democrats, your rebuttal?)
"Here An Oink, There An Oink, Everywhere An Oink, Oink!"
(Courtesy Old McDonald)
"Alright, Who's Been Making Out With A Pig?"
(Come back to this side of the line, Marie!)

Interestingly, I didn't even know the pigs were spreading the flu until yesterday! That's what two days of not checking ksl.com will do for ya. I miss the birds -- are they jealous? -- what about their flu? No one ever thinks of them anymore. And what about the mosquito's? Doesn't anybody care about West Nile? Sigh. Dang those swine.

6 comments:

Tink said...

Thanks for putting it into perspective!

Kamille said...

I'd like to see you comedy up the interrogation of the Bush administration for their "unethical" tactics with terrorists. Yeah, there's not much comedy there. But pigs are always funny. Miss. Piggy, Olivia, Babe. Really.

Ducksoup said...

those titles are too awesome. choosing just one title would be way too hard...but a few favorites:
"I Don't Believe In Swine-Flu; I Just Believe In Me."
"Dear Editor: Should I Be Concerned I Have A Sore Throat?"
"Here An Oink, There An Oink, Everywhere An Oink, Oink!" (perhaps my favorite!)
"Alright, Who's Been Making Out With A Pig?"
"Wasn't It Swine That Shared With The Prodigal Son?"
"Revenge Of The Swine."
well now that of copied nearly all of them for my favorites, let me just say you are way too creative in so many ways! can hardly wait for your next post. love yah!

The Farnsworths said...

Amen! Well put, my friend. It's always some ridiculous breakout or sudden discovery that the news jumps at the chance to be the first to inform us all. So that we can be aware of any immanent possibility of death. Why don't we just walk around in a big plastic bubble?...but I'm sure there would be some discovery on how that could harm your health...it can't be good to take in your own carbon dioxide emissions.~sigh

We have to take it in strides, be aware, but not afraid...how to do that, now, is the bigger challenge.

Emily said...

hahahahahhaa.....love the revenge of the swine and Dear Editor: Shoudl I be concerned I have a sore throat" They are all great!

bruthasofahsumnesss said...

Marie here is your official invite to join bruthasofawsomness because frankly sis you have more ahsumness than any of us and jus because your alittle different the whole boy girl thing should not prevent you from your proper place. Hillarious.
love bro 1