Monday, May 4, 2009

Could Someone Sing Me To Sleep?

One should never have to make hard decisions while under the influence of life and swine-flu. In FACT, one should never have to make hard decisions at all!
I want all houses up for sale to suddenly disappear. Go away!!!
I am up too late and thinking too much.
A lethal combination if ever there was one!
I don't understand the men in this world, including my own. This is something I kind of do to myself: even after almost seven years of marriage, I am occasionally so insecure about my beloved's love for me that moving to a nunnery where I can be nun and raise my children in peace sometimes seems like a great option. "Thank you for the children; now run off and do whatever it is you want to do." Risk. That is what marriage is. The game of Risk. I take your army, you take a continent. Whatever, batman!

I have written a little biographical poem. It goes like this:

I annoy myself. I don't want to be
so very insecure, because
That's annoying.
I'd be okay with awesome.
I wish I didn't disrupt trust by questions.
I wish I didn't have to do anything
but sit on my Royal Arse and
Feel Preschooly Good.

Is it wrong to call brother's in the middle of the night to entertain?


bruthasofahsumnesss said...

Sure call me. . .Emma does. She will fain hunger or coldness etc, and when I walk into the room throw a huge smile my way like. . . ha silly man got you again. I always fall for it. Just call me John. Love you Ree. Above all else I am sure that Ben loves you beyond every tomorrow. Here is a great plan. Sleep at night ponder during the day. I know easier said than done. You will get a house. . .patience. Chill Iona.

Emily said...

Hmmm.... It says it was past midnight when you posted that. I know that staying up late thinking can do bad things. haha. As far as your husband goes...just go back and read your post about the poligamist book you were reading and how you ran to him upset at "his property" thing. Read what you wrote about his response. Never forget that!! He obviously loves you very very much and cares deeply for you!! I must tell you, though...I, too am insecure and YES!! It is very annoying!! Good luck on the house decisions.

Tina Williams said...

Marie - you are in good shape! Just so you know, you are not alone. I have those same exact feelings on many occasions. I never want to run to a nunnery -- I have told Andy for years that if I ever run it will be to Boston. I'm not sure why, maybe it is far enough away and so far out of normal life for me that I "think" I could forget everything. An hour or two at a time would actually be nice wouldn't it. To pretend to be a preschooler and your biggest problem in life was having someone push you on a swing. You are adorable and don't forget it. Also, be patient in the home buying affair, no need to do anything until the spirit directs! You are loved!

Jen said...

I know it's not night-time anymore, but here you go:

Rock-a-bye Marie, crazy as me,
When the wind blows, the crazy will flee.
When our minds break, we all will have fun,
maybe we can bring our families with us to the asylum.

(Rhythm Shmythm.)

Kamille said...

Thanks for checking my column. I just love ya. That's all.

bruthasofahsumnesss said...

just call out my name and you know I'll come running cause you need a friend. That crappy poorly remembered rendition of a 70's song was brought to you by your brother Jon. You really can call me anytime I am always available. Well almost always.:)

Tink said...

Oh, Marie. I would hate to be making the decisions that you are making right now. They are hard ones, and they will effect the rest of your life. Just remember that when your head and your heart are in agreeance, that is when your decision is right! Trust the Lord, He will guide you! I love you! Good Luck!

Tamari said...

You are loved. All is well. Patience and trust in the Lord. :)