Quick! While the Double B and the kids are still at the store!
In observance of Post 100 (that's right, baby) and the return of semi-rational thought (hallelujah, welcome back Nice Marie, I missed you, buddy) I have decided to write about just a few of my many virtues and vices -- I do this based on a conversation I had with Tink about what others think of us and the desire to say: I have the following sins, and I do the following things in a totally awesome way! So here you go, in the name of 100 Posts:
VICES (I'll start here, just so we have a place to work up to):
1) I bight my fingernails, and I'm not even sorry about it. I have struggled with this despicable and disease-causing habit all of my life, except for two years, in which Ben met and fell in love with me. The ring picture for our wedding is beautiful, my nails look exquisite, and holy cow, is that a waist line! On our honeymoon, they (the fingernails) started to bother me. I didn't have fingernail clippers, so I bit them off. I attribute this to nudity, or something like that. I have been biting away ever since. I think Ben feels lied to. I used to care. I don't anymore. Seems like a waste to hate myself over something so trivial.
2) Whenever I have television, I watch The Bachelor. Or Bachelorette, whichever is on. The Double B likens this to the greatest sin I could ever commit. It's not like I'm proud, I just seem to like watching one person make out with a multitude. Wait... I'm not sure that's it. I'll have to analyze this. Either way, now you know.
3) I don't get pretty. I only wear makeup for church, or when I really want to impress the Double B. I'm always afraid people are going to call me on an inappropriate attempt to look nicer, or think what a wasted attempt. So I just don't do it. Plus, it takes effort, and if there is anything I avoid, it is effort! So no, I don't get pretty. But at least I'm clean!
4) I have a temper that comes out of the clear blue sky with my poor innocent children. I'm fine, and then all the sudden there is this screaming psychopath at my house! And the worst part about it is, the Spirit is giving me a talking to the whole entire time I'm yelling! Sigh. This vice list is getting depressing!
5) I would swear like a sailor if given the chance. In fact, I often swear in my head. I have even said bad, bad words, just to see what it feels like. And I'm not proud about it. I'm just so very honest (wink, wink). Sorry if you're reading this, Mother Dear -- let's still be friends.
(My version of) VIRTUES:
1) Last night, with the support of my petite running buddy, I ran FIVE LAPS IN A ROW!!! That is totally a world record for me, like, I don't think I have run that far e.v.e.r. (You should know of my personal belief that Gym was the class devised by the devil). I felt powerful. How is this a virtue, you ask? 'Cause I have a great desire to not self-destruct this physical body of mine. I am committed to shedding this scary inner tube I am currently sporting, and dangit, that has forced me to do something I have never wanted to do: run.
2) I like to write in a journal. Blogging is very convenient to this end, 'cause it's like I have an audience for my oddities. My children and grandchildren will have a very clear idea just how warped their Granny (me) really is.
3) I have great taste in music. Just ask me. And if you're wondering what the whole family loves more then anything right now, it's the album "Big Bad World" by the Plain White T's. Best album ever. And I'm loyal, too. 'Cause I listen non-stop. That album has been in rotation since Christmas!
4) I love my kids (and I admit, my honey) more then anything in the whole universe! I actually love a whole, whole lot of people. Love is a virtue.
5) I am a superb reader. I can read with the best of them. I can also laugh quite out loud and hysterically whilst reading. I kind of like that, when I'm the only one who knows why I'm laughing really loud. Makes me feel cool.
Well, there you go, an intimate view of the life and times of Madame Me on Post 100. The vices were kind of interesting, don't you think? Much more so then the virtues. I could have kept the Vice List going forever, and had a good time doing it!
I wanted to do something awesome, like give away something I made myself 'cause I'm just amazing that way, but... the only thing I can do with my hands is draw stick people. So if you'd like to register for a stick person in celebration of Post 100, just put in a request and I'd love to whip one out for ya!
Thank you to all the people who read my blog. That is so very nice of you. It makes me feel happy when you tell me you read my blog. I'd like to read yours, too. Pick up the posting frequency, could you? (I don't want to point any fingers, here. But you know who you are!)
Ben just came home and brought me a Frozen Hot Chocolate from Dairy Queen (the best F.H.C. there is, and I've tried 'em all). Isn't that romantic? I'm thinking about giving him a kiss.