King of the Old People."
One might ask how one earns this illustrious title at the mere age of 28. It's a good question, so being your friend, I will tell you. It's not easy to do.
First: you must be born and raised in the same small town. Second: you must be obedient, gentleman-like as both a small person and big person, and an Eagle Scout. Third: you must have a Dad that is already kinda old (84 right now -- beat that) and pulls you around in a red wagon when you are little. Fourth: you must have a super hot smile and the aura about you that says you would look super hot in a WWII uniform (my Grandma sure thought he would. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind seeing it myself). Fifth: you must decide you are King of the Old People, and make a claim that the title is yours.
Let's back up a moment. We went to dinner at that special heaven of red meat, Texas Roadhouse. It was awesome! On the way home we began talking about big expenses that are upcoming and trying to rationalize about why we need a new computer. His excuse: he might need it for scouts. Reality: Diablo and that Pirate game on Facebook. My excuse: I might need it for young womens. Reality: the all-powerful Blog. The Double B agreed, as it helps his excuse and he has daydreams of me becoming a famous blogger and getting rich off of potty-training adds. This led him to prematurely and most romantically call me "popular." (Isn't that sweet?) I said "How sweet that you think that, big guy. I am popular to you, and that is all that matters." (I know, I'm kinda romantic that way.) To which he replied "You are popular in our neighborhood. So, yeah, you do alright... I'm not be as popular as you are, but at least I am [wait for it, it's coming] King Of The Old People!" Happiness and crush-like feelings ensued.
I'm still giggling. And honestly, I couldn't disagree with this small ego-boosting statement. I had to get special permission from the La Verkin city council in order to marry their Golden Boy. (That is only a small exaggeration.)
I love it when my Double B creates his own kingdoms. I'm in love with the King. Deal with it, ladies.