Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Lake Of Eternal Fire; Actualized.

I just have to share this story, even though it is all about poop.

I think we are FINALLY making progress in Pottydom. I hate to talk too soon, but I am hopeful.

You still have to hear the very special experience I had today.

In my sweet innocence, I decided maybe Missy FooFoo was ready to have a little break and go to the park. I should have taken her back after the first accident, but I didn't. Wait for it.

I am sitting at the table talking to some buddy-O's as the children play. Olivia runs up to me and says she has to go potty! I skip and cheer on the way to the bathroom like a crazy person, which Olivia seems to like. We put our Dora potty on the toilet. I pull down pants and put daughter on toilet. Poop falls all over the floor, my shoes, and the innocent potty! I say "Oh, no!" and try to clean it up. Poop is raining down from heaven. With no where else to put the poopy underwear, I decide to let them rinse in the other toilet while I try to wipe up the more serious damage. I pick my little pooper up off the toilet and start trying to wipe up the floor. Olivia goes to other side of bathroom and slips. Poop all over the floor on that side of the bathroom. I go to wipe up that poo-poo. Livi walks into other stall. I say "Livi, don't fl --" and hear FLUSH! Yep. She flushed her panties down the toilet. I run to the toilet to make sure it's not overflowing or going to blow up. It appears stable. Livi wipes her poopy hand down my arm. Over the next few minutes I frantically gain some semblance of control. I herd my naked daughter into the sunlight. The other children scream "eeeewwww, Livia!" The other Mothers pity me. We trek home for bath and washing machine. At least I don't have to wash that pair of underwear.

You will be happy to know I did not have to call the city. The offended toilet flushed successfully three more times. See? There are miracles.

She is back in panties.

Pray for me, people.
Could someone organize a candlelight vigil, or something?

Wondering how many times I said the word "poop" during this post? The answer: 11. You're welcome.


Melissa said...

You are the woman! You have so much more strength and tenacity than me. I'd have given up and decided she could wait till she was 12 to potty train herself. By that time, if something like this happened again, she could clean herself up. You are amazing! I want to run, but can't tonight. Call me tomorrow. And yes, let's hang out!

The Decaffeinated Chef said...

I cant decide what I am most proud of, how you handled such a seriously funny but gross situation or the ridiculous amount of use you managed to get out of the word poop. Ha ha it still makes me laugh imagining you using that word.

Tara said...

I definately don't envy you. I too am extremely impressed with how well you handled the situation and that you are still willing to put her in panties again. I can handle #1 accidents but when it comes to #2 it only takes a couple for me to give up and wait until later. I'm glad to hear that it looks like progress. I wish you the best.

Ducksoup said...

oh my goodness, sounds like craziness. you are too hilarious though. someday livia needs to thank you for cleaning up all her poop. i am so glad to hear the toilet did such a nice job of flushing the undies. if a vigil is set up, let me know about it :). happy 24th!

Tink said...

too funny! and yet so sad! Hang in there sister!