Last night I went and saw 'Aida' at Tuacahn. It was excellent. I felt so awesome sitting there and listening to one of my favorite musicals of all time, sitting with buddies, sitting and drinking a humongous Diet Coke, sitting and feeling the groove. I had myself a real swell time.
And then I came home.
And I met...
A tornado! A whirlwind of horror! A cyclone of death!
My house, which had been in beauteous condition when I left -- even with dinner on the stove (I mean, this happens like once every two weeks, so I was really rockin' it!) -- and the dishwasher ready to load... was dead.
The kitchen torn apart. Dishes and food everywhere.
Salt (or sugar?) all over my nice clean floor.
A whole Costco pack of bandaids opened all over my front room,
along with every toy and piece of chalk known to modern man.
The camera left out.
I felt concerned. So I turned on the camera and saw...
I have to admit, it's cute.
But I also knew what it meant.
So I headed for the bathroom, where my makeup was all over the bathroom floor, opened and smeared. Honestly, shouldn't Daddy have taken the time to cover his own tracks? Men.
By this time, I was feelin' a little... fumy. A word? It is indeed.
I walked a few steps more down the hall.
There he was, the great misdeeder. The Father.
Sitting at the computer, playing a rousing game of Solitaire.
I didn't speak. I couldn't. I didn't have my nun chucks on me.
So I headed to my bedroom.
A brand new bottle of oily medicine was poured all over my nightstand
and the bathroom floor. Everywhere the water wasn't.
So I marched back to the hallway and asked how much that bottle of medicine was.
The father hesitantly answered "Uh... not much."
So I, in pure female form, said "I just want to know what you do when I'm gone. I just want to know!" And quite frankly, I still do want to know.
By the time I got everything cleaned up, I was a little bit hopping mad.
So I closed the bedroom door, drew a comforting bath, and read my book.
'Cause that's what I do.
When I got out the offender meekly came in and asked
"So how was the show?"
"Daddy, I so beautiful! I so essquisite!"