Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Her Name Is Jane

And she left us this morning.
She is my Grandmother, and I love her so much. She was one of those rare people who was so filled with the peace of our Savior that she was never rattled by anything. Her faith in Him was unshakable.
When I was a girl, we would spend a lot of time at her house. There wasn't much to do but play with the triangle blocks or go outside, but instead I would sit at her table with my chin on my hands and watch her knead bread for hours. She was always making homemade wheat bread, and it was hard work. She never had a mixer or measured the ingredients, it was memorized and her hands did all the hard work. When it was all together and she was molding the loafs she would give me a little piece to work with, and I would feel so proud sitting next to her and working with my own piece of dough, molding and shaping it in my hands just like she did.
She was a worker bee, always doing, but she would stop sometimes, at least once every visit, to take me into her bedroom and rock me on her rocking chair. She would tell me my favorite stories and sing me songs, and I wanted to listen to them every time with no variation. She would tell me how she had polio as a young girl and should have died but the Lord healed her. And she would pull the tiny pajamas and robe she wore out of her closet and let me hold them. Then we would rock again and she told and retold how she was in a terrible accident as a young teenager, riding in the back of a truck that rolled off the mountain road. The people who came to the rescue jumped over her body, because they thought she was dead. But she wasn't. Her bottom teeth were knocked backwards into her mouth, but she crawled to the water and pushed them back up with her tongue and held them in place. And they healed. The Lord preserved her, as He would do so many times in her life.
I would love to sleep in her bed with her, the room was dark and the moon would come in through the curtains and shine patterns on the ceiling, but I felt safe and warm.
She would always walk us out to the car and blow kisses at us as we drove away. She taught me to sing "Give Said the Little Stream" and when my brothers and I would argue she would drive me crazy by singing "Let Us All Speak Kind Words To Each Other." I didn't want to speak kind words, but that is all that she spoke.
My Grandma was almost over the moon when I became a wife at nineteen and had a baby soon after. She was very relieved, having been concerned during my teen years that I would become a ruffian and live the life of an Actor.
She suffered many physical ailments, but never complained, only sat quietly and partook of the cup. She was such an incredible example of being a follower of Christ. We practiced different religions, but she was happy and satisfied to see my brothers and I live good lives. I am comfortable knowing her faith in the Savior made her His friend, and He will take care of her.
She is the first person I wanted my Dad to call when I found out I had health problems after Olivia and was afraid. I felt comfort knowing the faith of her prayers -- it comforted me in a way few other things could to know my Grandma Jane was praying for me.
As her health has declined, we knew this day was coming. But it still seems like a shock that this world has to continue without my two incredible Grandmothers. I can't believe I never realized the way these two different but amazing women molded and shaped my life, but I feel full of thanksgiving that I come from them.
I was so blessed to have the opportunity to see her for a few minutes a few weeks ago. She was lucid, and I sat beside her hospital bed and held her hand in mine. We looked into each others eyes and our souls communicated. The great love we have for one another was expressed, and I have the incredible peace of knowing she knew just how much I loved her. And knowing just how much she loves me.
And then I saw her yesterday, laying in a coma. They told her she could still hear me. But I didn't doubt all had been communicated. So I told her again that I loved her, and I laid my head next to hers and cried. I kissed her shoulder and her head.
And I felt relieved when my Dad called me to say she had finally been able to go at a quarter to six this morning. A woman so great in spirit should not be trapped in that body any longer.
I love you, Grandma, with all of my heart.
Until we meet again.
I love these other tributes to my Grandma:


Tink said...

beautiful! I'm here if you need me!

Ducksoup said...

loved reading this marie. you made me cry - - probably for a number of reasons really. for one, what you wrote was simply beautiful. i loved it. what a neat lady. for another, my heart is pained knowing how hard it is to lose a grandmother. i think the whole thing just hits way to close to home. perhaps your grandma's have already said their hellos. well i love you and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

The Decaffeinated Chef said...

I'm sorry for your loss, you have some beautiful memories that you shared. She sounds amazing and I know you'll see her again. Let us know if you need anything.

Tara said...

That was a beautiful post. You have such wonderful memories and come from such a great heritage of faith and love. It's never easy to lose someone we love. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Tamari said...

What a beautiful tribute to a most wonderful child of God. I am sorry for your loss. I know she is on the other side now and continuing her journey. How happy she must be to be in the presence of her Savior that she knows so well! I know you will miss her and my heart aches because of your sadness. Hang in there sweetie, I am here if you need me! :-)

Emily said...

So sorry marie! I'm sorry for what you have been through this year!! I hope next year is better for all of you!

katie said...

I am sorry!!