I'm about to self-actualize. Prepare yourself, people, it is not going to be pretty.
I am a crazy woman.
And a super crazy and witch-clone of a mother today. You know the Wicked Witch of the West? Green skin, wart on the nose, big chin? Cackle from Hell? That's me. I am her. We are one.
I'm sorry, children. Flesh of my flesh. I must have given you the best parts. 'Cause all that's left of the original flesh is a... Witch. (Insert cackle here).
I would like to apologize to my body for making it run last night. We all know running is evil. Is this what is forming the hate-rays to build inside of me until there is cosmic explosion? Is it just revenge? Am I actually proof of the big bang theory?
I would like to apologize to my husband for complaining to him when he called. He probably didn't want to hear about how Via wouldn't put on her underwear. That was making me really mad. And her hair is not brushed. And I don't apologize. (Nice Marie says she wants to apologize, but Bad Marie won't let her.)
I'm sorry, children, for screaming like a true, actual, real-life psychopath whenever you have cried today due to injury. For some reason, it really annoys me when you injure yourselves on self-actualization days. Will you still be my children? Are you going to divorce me?
It might actually be a better option for you. Go find Brad and Angelina, they will take you in. They're not married, but don't worry, they're just waiting until all their brothers and sisters can be married, too. So... not a problem.
Self-Actualization Complete: I am a complete wreck of a human being. In fact, I am not even sure if I deserve the title of Human Being. I am a complete wreck of atoms. Atoms of the disorderly persuasion. Atoms askew. Atoms atomacized (new word, you're welcome). Atoms not on the fast track to heaven. Atoms that should be locked away in prison until Nice Mommy comes back.
We miss you, Nice Marie.