Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I want to post. I really do.
It's just that I have too many things on my mind.
Plus, I'm pretty sure that at this point, I am not changing the world with my thought-provoking prose. (How boring would that be? Anyone? Anyone?) And so instead I will write a brief breakdown of some of the things I have thought over the last three days:

* I'm glad I don't live near North Korea. Those crazy psychos. What gives them the right to terrorize their neighbors with their weaponry? Furthermore; what gives any of us the right to hold weapons of mass destruction? I'm just saying, it's been a topic of thought for me. And let me tell you, if I was back in my high school days, I would be railing about it in international extemp in speech and debate.
Because that is just how nerdy I am.
And I'm glad I'm not Israel. That poor nation. How would you like it if all the freaks of the world were after you?

* Girl stuff.

* How to better budget our finances. Could someone do it for me? (haha. kidding. kidding.)

* The blessings of tithing.

* How best to help the youth in our ward. The things I'm failing at like a submarine, and the things I could easily improve on, and ways I could reach their hearts. I love working with the young women! I. love. it. so. much. And I appreciate my family helping me and sacrificing so I can do it. Kaje and I were talking about it the other day -- he asked why we have a new bishop, and I tried to explain about the periods of service in our lives -- and he said "boy, you have been serving those young women for a long... long... time." I guess a year does seem like a long time when you're five. Personally, I could just go on forever. And ever. But I am a little unsure of how to improve while maintaining the level my kids need. Or is it just teaching them the value of service? I don't know. Anyone? Anyone?

* My friend Rowena introduced me to a blog forum called Segullah, and it has been most thought provoking, especially the entries on the relationship between husband and wife. Thank you, Rowena, for upping my intelligence level one iota. I do believe it is the hardest, most fulfilling, and important relationship in our lives. And I am totally fascinated how as a mother it's so easy to shift your focus from your husband to your children, but how important it is to shift it back to the man in your life. And do husbands ever think about these things? Anyone? Anyone? My own dear husband is not the most expressive man out there. I don't know what he thinks about most of the time, but I don't think it's about the state of our marriage. Is there a man who can refute this claim? I'll give you three dollars if you can do it.

* Extended families. And their purpose. And my own extended family. And their influence. It's interesting how dynamics change as you all become adults. But I hope I'm an Aunt and sister like some of my Aunts and Uncles are, and not an Aunt and sister like some of my Aunts and Uncles are. Does that make sense? It does to me!

* The Book of Mormon and the New Testament. I'm in my personal favorite part of the B of M -- Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah! Can I get a woot, woot?! Seriously, my favorite part. The Double B favors Second Nephi and Third Nephi (a given) and Mormon. I love those, too, but I just think Alma, Ammon, Aaron, Omner and Himni are so relate able. This morning I got to ask myself again "Have I spiritually been born of God?" for the umpteenth time. That question always seems to come at a good time in my life. And I've been thinking about the four gospels, especially yesterday. What if you had seen what they had seen? How would you relate it so everyone could understand? How could you help others believe? I just think they did such a beautiful job. Anyhow.

* My sisters-in-law. I like them. I really, really like them.

* Lip-syncing, and how I'm really glad most of the time that I am totally willing to make a fool of myself. Most of the time.

* Halloween costumes, and whether mine is just too black. It needs more orange. More, more orange. But orange is harder to find then you think. And whether Kaje's will get here in time, and whether I'm an idiot. Please don't answer that.

* Family Home Evening. My kids are finally getting on board, and actually seem to love it, now. And they are even responding to my questions, which I love. They just beam when they know the answer!

* Why I seem to be treading water, and not swimming forward. One should always swim forward, I'm a great believer in that. So why am I not doing it? I can't really use the excuse of a hard year anymore, that would just be lame. The year is almost over, and my life will move on. But do I always want to be like I am now? Or do I want to be better?

I don't know about you, but I want to be better. But then, you probably are better.
Oh well, the Savior leaves the ninety and nine for the one. And that One is sometimes me. Nice to know I'll never be left alone.


Kamille said...

I find it interesting that a woman's minds is like that: what's for dinner, how can I be better, what do I need to do for my children, where can I help in the community, why did God think it would be fair for a woman to do girl stuff, etc.? Yet, if you were to tune into the ramblings of a man's mind, it would be a very linear conversation: I need to get this project in, I'm under a deadline. If I move these numbers from this column to this one, that ought to balance out the budget but if I do that then I have to compensate for the blah blah blah... And that is why we speak different languages and are hard-wired to complete different tasks. So there.

Melissa said...

Amen, sistah! Let's go get a shake and talk about these things. I need a kick in the butt, I'm seriously lacking...in everything.

Tink said...

Can you figure out MY budget???? Seriously! And I need you to prod me along and help me be better too! :-)

Tara said...

I'm intrigued with finances and would love to help if I was closer. A budget usually takes a few months to smooth out and figure out what really works and is feasable not just looks good on paper or screen. Don't get too discouraged. I will be happy when I have money to budget!! j/k we make just enough to stay alive and that's all we need right now! Good luck with all your thoughts.

Ducksoup said...

i loved your thought about treading water. i think i have been doing that for way too long. you are inspiring, you know that. thought provoking to say the least and so stinkin' smart it's crazy. woo hoo - - i am so glad we are related. love yah!

Ducksoup said...

p.s. i want to be that nice aunt too...

Jen said...

I'd like to say that I am also a big fan of Segullah and Lip Sync. Sometime if you bribe Alex when I am not there perhaps he will show you the incriminating Dancing Queen video.