I am afflicted.
I think it would be really special if this mind of mine would just accept things as the way they are and be good with that. I am down-right positive that my husband wishes the same thing.
Last night I was getting ready for bed when my little head replayed a conversation I was a part of that made me ANGRY. And then I got all stirred up about it until The Double B came to bed. He laid down and I said his very most favorite words in the whole world:
"I need you to talk me back from the ledge."
He groaned.
And then asked me what the problem was.
And ... It's the same problem I've always had.
Even though, personally, my life is great -- I have an amazing father and a great husband who are as "girl power" as the next person -- I have lots of concerns about women being second-class citizens. And I get mad how men respond when faced with this fact. The problem is, men are in charge.
As much as I try to talk myself down ("DOWN, Marie!"), the set-up upsets me. It really does. The way it appears is that women are not as important as men. And darnit, I know that is not how God feels! So why does it keep appearing that way? Why isn't something done to say "Wow, things are a little messed up, but with a little tweeking and listening, we could fix that." Instead it's just "Well, you are the nobler sex," or "You don't need these resources 'cause you're already so good" (my personal favorite), or, worst of all "Why do you have to be difficult?"
I'm sorry, for the two men who read my blog. I apologize. I know you are good and decent human beings. It's just that the system is flawed.
The Double B gets really frustrated with me. He tries to be patient, but he struggles. Last night he went so far as to say "I wish we didn't have to have this conversation once a week." UH! Insulting! Once a week?! How 'bout once a month? I corrected him, believe you me. This conversation only takes place once a month. Possibly even every six weeks when I mind my P's and Q's.
I swear, I was born this way. I am not accountable.
Okay, I am accountable. Ben says I just love to kick against the pricks.
I think Ben is rude.
Just kidding. Mostly.
I do kick against the pricks. But I don't love to do it. I just do it.
Occasionally. Not as much as I used to.
I think what it comes down to is that I need my own magic island. I will be ruler of this island, and I will not have to see anything I don't want to see. My children will play on my magic island. My husband will have visitation rights on my island, as long as he says exactly what I want him to say at all times. You are all welcome on my magic island, but please only bring happy news and fun treats with you. My little island is called "Denial," and I love it. I am going to live there forever!
Goodbye Forever,
Marie.
6 comments:
If you were on your magic island without Ben you'd be fine for about two hours.... and then you'd be so lonely and homesick for him you couldn't stand it. So - here's an idea. Why not have YOUR home be your magic island? Really sis... you don't have to answer to anyone but Heavenly Father in your own home. Well, I guess if you were a child abuser or a drug user or many other bad things then you'd have to be accountable to the Hurricane Police Dept. But, since you're not.... let your home be your magic island. Ben doesn't treat you as a 2nd class citizen and neither do your children. The only one who does that is your mind. Especially in your own home. Just be the queen of your home that you are and enjoy it. I don't know what to tell you about outside your home other than it's really not as important as inside your home. And - quit thinking about it. It doesn't change anything and it doesn't do you any good. Just always remember "what would Jesus do" and you'll be ok. love ya most! - mom
Marie this is Matt. . .your brother born a boy. Sorry. Ok Sis first of all I love you, and I know how strong you are. I know you are amazing, and in many ways I have always admired you. We are all given certain chances in life that we are accountable for. We are all here trying not to screw things up for each other. You are married to one of the most descent versions of a man a person could find. He is married to a great woman. Patience. Patience. Patience. I think people could treat each other with more fairness across the board. If I at any point in time have ever made you feel less for being a woman. I am so sorry. I know now how important and crucial a great daughter of God is. I was young and stupid, and if too many of us never grow out of it. I love you.
There is only one thing that makes man supreme in my house: I am the only one who will plunge a toilet.
It's not unusual to arrive home from work to have my wife direct me to which toilet has been clogged by one of our children over the course of the day.
Not that I'm suggesting you should be the designated toilet plunger. I mean, I don't necessarily WANT to see my wife plunging a toilet.
Okay, I'm done.
Reese, will your island have places for visitors, a cabana of sorts? If so, could I please have my name on the list of people who plan on stopping by?
You are great, some men are great and ignore those who aren't. Maybe not ignore them, maybe you could tell them you plan on praying for their sorry souls ;)
rieser i am glad you posted this. i quite enjoyed it - - even though it was not meant to be funny or anything but i just think you are adorable. i am glad you are a strong woman and that you actually think about things in life. i think most of the time i just don't even think. so you rock. and your husband does too and so i am with your mom - - you should make your home your magic island. can i come and visit though? i promise i will be nice. if there are any men in your life i need to beat up, just let me know. i am pretty tough yah know.
I like this post a LOT!
Did you see Avatar? If not, when you do, there will be a moment that makes you very, very happy. And you can call me afterward.
Alex said he was going to censor this comment, but no. I am in charge of all of my comments! Bahahahaha.
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