Goodbye, brain cells. Goodbye forever. I have always wanted to know what being a dumb blond feels like. And now I know. I reiterate: Goodbye forever.
Some things you should know before I publicly humiliate myself:
*I have been heavily medicated. And thanks to that beautiful, exquisite medication, my cough is on it's way out and I am no longer in hunched-over-holy-crap-this-is-it-let's-make-out-my-will pain. I love you, modern science. That cough was so wrong. I never want to see it's ugly face again.
*Last night was the Dance Festival, and let me tell you ('cause I just haven't done it enough), my Kindergartener is the bomb-diggity. He did a "little eagle, leave your nest" dance. I laughed, I cried. And then I watched the video we made late last night and laughed and cried again. I don't really know what it is about that kid, but he just melts me. Into butter.
Please consider the love and dedication and abject devotion I have given you over the years and marry a woman who loves me. Please. Please. Please.
*I am going in just a few hours to spend some high quality girl time with the Double B's Mom and sisters for the weekend. Rock it! I have been very excited about this. I am hoping something totally wild and crazy happens (like dancing the bunny dance in the Blue Bunny ice cream shop, which I convinced them ALL to do last time). This time we will be in Provo. Maybe we could toilet paper BYU and then spend the night in jail? Really, a viable option.
Alright. Here is your Blast From The Past. Please keep in mind, this is a particularly humiliating time in my life. This entry comes straight out of my Baby-Sitter's Club Diary. I was ten years old. I have preserved spelling and punctuation, because if nothing else, I am an honest woman. And I share it with you now so you can have some insight into a truly warped mind and also as part of a criminal defense should I ever need to stand trial. It speaks for itself. Uhem:
December 29, 1993
Hi! How you doing!! Well, you are fine if I am. Sorry I haven't wrote for so long. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I got this book. Time passes so quickly. I'm busy with school and trying to find time to write. But I can write to you when I try to, with the Lord on my side, I can do anything...
I don't really know what to say. Time is a waste to count -- it goes by so fast, you'll eventually
forget. Yet it seems yesterday I was just entering Mrs. Smith's class in first grade. I was afraid yet, excited, and did not know if my teacher would be nice, or mean, young, old I did not know. Now I am about to enter a new world, Middle School, and high school then college. A butiful marrage, a few wonderful kids, a novel, maybe two or more. My writing going higher and higher up. And than, my kids mariages, hopefully all of them and before I know it I'm a grandma, and
then -- one peaceful night I hope to die, and easily in my sleep. Loving life and friends.
And with that, I wish you all a fond farewell. You don't ever have to come back again. I won't hold it against you, I promise. The End.