Dear Wild and Crazy Imagination,
Please try to cooperate when you hear sirens and your loved ones are not in the house with you. They are okay. Everything is okay. You don't need to go off and terrorize me. It is not nice.
Marie -- Victim of her own Mind.
Dear Sister Richins,
Thank you for listening to name ideas last night and totally controlling your opinion when you didn't like it. That was very kind of you. Thank you for also writing letters in your head. I find you both funny and refreshing.
Dear Olivia's Tummy,
Now would be the time to not hurt anymore. She's fussing, dang you! And she just doesn't know what could make her feel better. Who wants a tummy ache, anyway? Translation: you are not wanted. Kindly Leave.
No Love Today,
Dear Upcoming Date,
I am excited to go and take advantage of you tonight. I like my husband's undivided attention, okay? I can't help it. It sounds funny, but sometimes I miss him even if we're together. 'Cause we gotta keep the spark alive, even though I am forty pounds heavier, incredibly rotund, and move pretty darn funny. I still love the guy. I still love romance. (Just romance, though. Not where romance leads. 'Cause I'm great with child. And lotion on the feet sounds a lot better.) Enough said.
Love and Anticipation,
Um... I think I need to pay you today. And then we will be less then broke. But that is okay. 'Cause we paid our tithing, and I have a testimony of tithing. Amen.
Not love but acceptance,
Dear Shell Cup,
Thank you for holding my water so well. I feel deeply attached to you and your life force.
Dearest and Most Beloved Jazz,
It hurts me that we have to play the stupid Lakers. No one likes them. NO ONE.
And you are trying hard. That is all I can ask. You are loved.
Dear Biggest Loser,
I miss you. If I had t.v. or a computer or even not young womens on Tuesday nights, I would watch you. As it is, I call my Mom every Tuesday at 9 for the full report. Keep up the good work. I want Jillian as my bad-butt trainer, 'cause she is so scary. I love her.
Your fan that doesn't watch,
I love you. Don't let the man get you down.