Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Mailbag Wednesday

Dear Wild and Crazy Imagination,
Please try to cooperate when you hear sirens and your loved ones are not in the house with you. They are okay. Everything is okay. You don't need to go off and terrorize me. It is not nice.
Love,
Marie -- Victim of her own Mind.

Dear Sister Richins,
Thank you for listening to name ideas last night and totally controlling your opinion when you didn't like it. That was very kind of you. Thank you for also writing letters in your head. I find you both funny and refreshing.
Love,
Sister B.

Dear Olivia's Tummy,
Now would be the time to not hurt anymore. She's fussing, dang you! And she just doesn't know what could make her feel better. Who wants a tummy ache, anyway? Translation: you are not wanted. Kindly Leave.
No Love Today,
Marie

Dear Upcoming Date,
I am excited to go and take advantage of you tonight. I like my husband's undivided attention, okay? I can't help it. It sounds funny, but sometimes I miss him even if we're together. 'Cause we gotta keep the spark alive, even though I am forty pounds heavier, incredibly rotund, and move pretty darn funny. I still love the guy. I still love romance. (Just romance, though. Not where romance leads. 'Cause I'm great with child. And lotion on the feet sounds a lot better.) Enough said.
Love and Anticipation,
Marie.

Dear Bills,
Um... I think I need to pay you today. And then we will be less then broke. But that is okay. 'Cause we paid our tithing, and I have a testimony of tithing. Amen.
Not love but acceptance,
Marie

Dear Shell Cup,
Thank you for holding my water so well. I feel deeply attached to you and your life force.
Love,
Marie

Dearest and Most Beloved Jazz,
It hurts me that we have to play the stupid Lakers. No one likes them. NO ONE.
And you are trying hard. That is all I can ask. You are loved.
Your friend,
Marie

Dear Biggest Loser,
I miss you. If I had t.v. or a computer or even not young womens on Tuesday nights, I would watch you. As it is, I call my Mom every Tuesday at 9 for the full report. Keep up the good work. I want Jillian as my bad-butt trainer, 'cause she is so scary. I love her.
Your fan that doesn't watch,
MaRetard.

Dear Friends,
I love you. Don't let the man get you down.
Love,
Marie

5 comments:

Tina Williams said...

Thanks again --

I look forward and now expect great posts from you on a MWF basis!

Loved the Upcoming Date thought -- lotion sounds absolutely awesome. I'm thinking of pampering myself with a pedicure for mother's day. A gift to self kind of thing! If you were in the area I would have you join me!

Jen said...

#1. Thank you for the lovely notes.

#2. STICK IT TO THE MAN! YEAH!

*rOcKiN rIcHiNs* said...

Ah, I'm famous. I love letter day, I am having a letter day too!

and...I truly loved all of the names you told me. Except one. You can't hold it against me forEver! :)

Simmons Family said...

thanks marie, I love you and reading your posts because you alway bring a smile to my face!

Kamille said...

You are funny. And for that you get a cyber-hug. Don't you feel all warm and tingley now?