Friday, August 20, 2010

Spew One Of Four

I have a lot of words to spew today, so I have generously divided the spew into four posts so that you can skip to whatever you want to read and not read anything you don't want to read. I am so generous. Please remember that if you are ever in doubt.

I've been thinking for some days now about family. We are all different, it's true (I ripped off that line from my kid's favorite jungle story book, if you are wondering). But I think the whole dynamic between spouses and their individual families can be especially fun and exciting. The Double B and I have always had one cardinal rule: you can fight about anything except the other one's family. 'Cause those are some serious fightin' words. Not that we fight so much as prance around what we really need to say and throw contentious feelings at the other when necessary. So fight? No, not too often. Sometimes I think a good hell-raiser could be good for us, though. But mostly, I am glad we are both non-confrontational people. It can make it tricky, though, because when something really, really needs to be said, I have a heck of a time saying it. He's better at those things then I am. I just have no desire to hurt his feelings. So I can make it worse sometimes by bottling it up. When we were first married, the Double B was super good at pointing out my flaws and ways I could improve. It was meant with love (I am pretty sure?), but after about two years I finally laid down the law. It went something like this: "If you keep this up, YOU WILL DIE." And I meant it. And he knew I meant it. And then there was peace in the land. Actually, he just got better at choosing what he really needed fixed and learned to live with the rest, I think. And I seriously have tried to be better at expressing my opinion. For instance: "No, I would not like to eat at Dirty Harriet's tonight." Families; however, are very taboo. Don't say it. Just don't say it, unless you can be really, super-de-dooper sure that it will not be taken in offense.

This can be tricky, because as my kid's book says, we are all different. My family is different then his family, and vice verse. We all love each other and try really hard to accept the other's family as our own. But I guess there will always be a little bit of a difference, and you probably can't help that. I'm just glad we have them.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. Nowhere. I just said that I had a lot of stuff to spew, and I'm spewing it. Amen.


Ducksoup said...

loved each and every post rie. and livi is so cute in her awesome shirt. and how fun for you to get a little alone time with miss katelyn. good decision. and happy b-day to the double b. he looks great. you know how to party - - a treasure hunt. wow. can you be my party planner for ryan's 30th. are you busy this st. patty's day? let me know. love you. great to hear from you. please post some more pics of little katee soon. love yah!

Kamille said...

I wish that my 30th b-day had been a big deal. It's less fun to have a birthday right after Christmas. Not like I chose when to turn 30. Or even 28 or 15 for that matter. I guess I just wish that I had a Marie to plan 30 gifts for me. I did that for Spencer. Mine included Wheat Thins and socks. I'm sure those were Spencer's favorites...3 years ago. I don't think there's anything wrong with not fighting. Most people don't enjoy being around someone confrontational. Maybe that needs to be a rule at my house. Hmmm...We don't really fight about it much. I just want there to be even love among the families. That's all.
I apparently needed to vent. I guess. Sorry. And Thanks.