I am pretty sure I have met your identical twin. Last night at Zumba, as a matter of fact. She looks so much like I deduce you look that I almost -- almost -- went and said "Elise? Is it you, my internet friend?" But I didn't. 'Cause I realized it was just your identical twin. But the resemblance was startling. And now you know you're not alone in the universe.
I hate your stinking guts.
Hoping we can make up soon,
Dear Sister Richins,
That activity on Tuesday was the bomb-diggity. I am not joking! It was amazing! I was very moved. It was fun and funny and also very nourishing for my spirit. I have received many compliments for you. When they express their gratitude, I say "Please give this compliment to Sister Richins. She is the bomb-diggity!" Anyhow, please feel of all my appreciation for your many efforts, and please tell Sister White how awesome she is (Sort of like you, buddy).
You are so much happier since we finally figured out you were ready for another ounce of formula every bottle. I am sorry that your mother is so very disabled when it comes to these things getting through. It's like for three days I'll go "Why is she so ornery?!?" And then -- and only then -- will I realize "Oh hey, maybe she is hungry!" Please don't be mad or hold this against me in later years, and please feel happy that you are still getting deliciously chunked. It's just... I have never had to figure this out before. But I think we can agree, it is worth my sanity! I love you so very much. I love your squeaky noises and the play noises you have just developed. So cute!
Dear Elementary School,
Why -- and seriously, I mean why -- do you have to call and tell me through recorded message exactly how you are going to "responsibly handle" President Obama's education address? I mean, do we as crazy parents really make your life that difficult? Please excuse me for assuming, but isn't he the President of the United States? Shame on us! You totally know I am devoid of political affiliation, and yes, at this point I'm beginning to hear a humming in my head when I listen to him, but really. Really. I'm sorry we have done this to you. Betcha you wouldn't have had to make that call if it was George W.!
Love and Pity,
Thank you for teaching me the goodness of the right to vote and making me feel guilty every time I say I'm not gonna vote this time. Thank you for teaching me to vote for the individual and not the party. I am so thankful not to be enslaved by an affiliation.
Your Daughter that only caused you very minimal trouble as a teenager.
I keep wanting to get together. But the question is... When? Hm.
No, for real. We're not talking again until Monday.
Working on Forgiveness,
I love that you chose to wear a witches hat all over St. George yesterday, and made many new friends at Costco through this choice. I love that you have that inside of you. I love that you would make faces and then giggle when all the old men talked to you. I'm glad you thought it was funny when that super old guy asked you if your freckles were bird poop. 'Cause that was weird, but seriously, you have a great sense of humor.
Hugs Not Drugs,
Hi. We missed you last night! I have been thinking, and it goes like this. We should really do our visiting teaching soon before we (let's clarify: before I) fail completely and someday have to answer for that in the next life. Hope you are feeling happy, healthy, and wise! I am so very fond of you!
Your junior companion,
Sorry about your pink eye. But glad I got to spend the day with you yesterday! I'm thankful for doctors and glad you are better today. You are doing amazing on your flash cards and those sight words are improving every day! I know it's hard sometimes but first grade will be worth it. You are doing such a great job, and you warm such a huge part of my heart. I'm glad you're you.