Friday, October 15, 2010

The Brain Purge

Last night at about three a.m. I made a list of things I hate.
It goes like this:

#1: The evil pillow top mattress thing on my bed. I HATE it. I loathe it. I despise it. I abominate it. But the Double B loves it. And he looks so sad when I proclaim my deep distaste for it, so I pretend I don't hate it. But I do. My whole body hates it. My hips, my back, and pretty much my whole being longs for a refund. So I've developed this system: for two weeks every three months, I take it off and allow my body to realign. And then I put it back on and it's not so bad for a month or two. Guess what? Today I got to take it off. MUH-HA-HA!!! I will enjoy these two weeks.

That's seriously the end of the hate list I made.
Thank you for listening.

Guess what?
A few months ago the Double B almost completely lost his hearing in one of his ears, and some in the other. He woke up one night and his ears were ringing. Like ... RINGING. So loud he couldn't stand it. They didn't stop ringing. Sometimes it was quiet but mostly it was endlessly loud. So as he was getting ready for work the next day, we had the following conversation:

D.B. - My ears have been ringing since last night.

Marie - What? Ringing non-stop?

D.B. - Yes. Non-stop. It's driving me crazy.

Marie - You have to go to a doctor.

D.B. - No, I don't.

Marie - Ringing in the ears indicates hearing loss, Ben.

D.B. - No, it doesn't!

Marie - Yes, it does! You have to call a doctor right now.

D.B. - I'll call one tomorrow if it's still ringing.

Marie - Okay. And please just know that I will totally learn sign language for you. I love you that much.

He then proceeded to ignore me for a minute. Then he called the Costco hearing center to ask his buddies what they thought. They told him to call a doctor now. Hm... thankfully, though, he listened to them and called an ear, nose, and throat specialist. They got him in in an hour. I went, because I was a little nervous about things and wanted to support him in case they told him he really was going deaf or had a brain tumor or something -- that's just how awesome I am. The doctor informed him after a thorough exam that he had contracted an incredibly rare virus that attacks the ears -- and if not treated immediately leads to permanent hearing loss in a matter of days. He said "time was crucial" in this case and he was thankful Ben had come in. I secretly gloated in my own goodness for saving my husband's hearing. Anyhow, he had to take an antibiotic -- four pills three times a day for a week, then two pills three times a day for a week, then one, then half... for a month. The doctor told him hopefully it had been caught soon enough that some of the hearing could be restored. But if not, he would just hear a permanent ring... forever. ACK!!! Can you imagine?! I'd have jumped off a bridge right then, but the Double B held it together, in true Double B form. For a few weeks I could really tell he'd lost a lot of hearing since from the other couch I'd practically have to yell to be heard "BEN!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??!?" But over time the ringing has abated and he has recovered most of his hearing. We are most thankful.


That's a very interesting story, aren't you glad I shared it with you?

And finally, a countdown:
1) I did all my chores today. I am such a good girl.
2) I'm going to get a refill after this. Caffeine free Diet Coke, I love you. Amen.
3) K.J. doesn't have school today for "Fall Break." Which in layman's terms, means "Deer Hunt." I do not hunt. I have asked my husband not to hunt. 'Cause we wouldn't eat it so it would be a sport, which would be wrong. But if you hunt to eat it, hunt away, man! I do not object to that. Once I had a professor who's wife found out the code for "Fall Break" and wanted to move out of Utah for it. I think she thought we were really weird, anyway.
4) Paying bills is so lame.
5) But you should still pay them.
6) I am totally planning to sit on my porch and watch my children play today. It will be good for them and I can read without feeling one twinge of guilt, because I am contributing to their healthy childhood. I'm reading 'The Outsiders,' because I have read it once a year since the seventh grade. And if I don't name my next son Europe, he's totally going to be Ponyboy. Or Johnny Cade. Or Sodapop. Makes sense, right?
7) I have now purged my brain. Thank you for listening. Amen.


Cory Reese said...

While I appreciate the fact that you enjoy Caffeine fre Diet Coke, let me share a gem with you that a friend recently shared with me: Coke Zero.

I will likely request it in an IV drip.

You're welcome.

Simmons Family said...

Wow, I am glad that you were able to get him into the dr so quickly. That is a crazy story. I hope he hasa full recovory!
P.S. I love reading your blog, you always brighten my day!

Ducksoup said...

awesomest blogger in the entire world. wow. that is a scary story about ben. now i know if i ever have ringing to get to a doc ASAP. and the outsiders, huh. i had no idea that book was such a classic. and i think you should get a bed like mine. it is amazing. maybe you need a snoogle too. love that even more. you are thc coolest FC ever.