Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Most Tragic Thing You've Heard Today

And here we have K.J. Magillicutty Bob Frederick Willoughby Beefstick:

He's reading, ladies and gentlemen! And doing so darn well at it! Especially when he applies himself and sounds things out instead of guessing and making up fantastical words and his own version of the story (He gets that from his Dad. Apparently that particular reading trait is the story of the Double B's reckless youth). He really is shooting forward at a great speed, and it is so thrilling to my Mother Heart. I love to read so much! (You could say too much, but you won't.) And I am hoping my children will love it, too. It really is the greatest source of adventure (and the greatest contributor to my belief that I live on an English countryside, wear beautiful dresses that make me delightfully buxom, and call my husband by his last name only. Or my belief that I have participated in Gladiator-like warfare. Or my belief that I can single-handedly solve any crime known to man. Or that I am magic -- I think I might be). The Kaje is doing great and it is so fun to hear him, especially as he applies punctuation -- I love the inflection in his voice (And not to brag [but I will, anyway] but his teacher always writes comments about his great inflection on his homework). The reading comprehension is finally really coming along, too. Go, K.J. Magillicutty Bob Frederick Willoughby Beefstick, Go!

Use that finger, buddy! Use it!
He also uses his new found skill to get out of bedtime. Because he knows if he really is trying hard on a book in his own bed and reads loudly enough, I'll start to coach him from my own bed, and then he comes running in so we can finish the book together -- crucial, I know.
It is a very diabolical (and effective) plan.
I think I am overusing the parenthesis today. But some days, I just think in parenthesis. And as my tenth grade English teacher taught in a rap/singsong voice "For secrets and for afterthoughts -- parenthesis!," I really must go with it. I always think it with a hand by mouth, too (Just in case you were wondering).
Back to the subject at hand.
My little man-child is really applying himself to his penmanship as well. His teacher is very serious about reading and penmanship (which is super) and perhaps even a little anal about it (also super). So on every assignment, she circles what needs to improve. And let me just tell you, his "s" is staying in the line, man. It took me until the second grade to learn not to let my "5" look like an "s." And my teacher docked me points for it, too, which was hurtful at the time -- but my 5's are definitely 5's now, Mrs. Woodland! So thanks for that.
Last night I came home from my devilish Zumba class and found his homework laid out for me to see (he'd been saving it because it was so special). He was already asleep. And I found this story. I laughed. And seriously, I cried, too. Because that it what we mother's do. And seriously, this kid can break my heart like no one else in the world. Which could be why he plays me like a violin.
Here it is:
"I like to build. I built my tent. My Mom took it to the D.I."
And now...
Brace Yourself:
"I miss my tent."

* crickets *
And now, I bid you a fond farewell.
As the Pioneer Woman says,
Goodbye Forever.
P.S. Bob here and I had a wonderful date at the Dinner Queen last night. We made birthday plans, and I got to hear all the details of his first grade life that I don't usually get, which was amazing. You should know the most important thing he informed me of:
* He remembers every single thing about his life. He remembers being 1,2,3,4,5, and now 6, even though he is almost 7. And I believe him when he says that, too. Which means he will never get over the scar I have left upon his heart by giving his tent to the D.I. two years ago.


Tara said...

I've made it a point to not allow my children to see or be present when I get rid of their things because they truly do hold it against you for wayyy tooo long. It is so fun to watch them learn to read I write. I love it.

Ducksoup said...

so funny. so funny. you gave away his tent. and he is writing stories about it. i love it. so fun. could this be your best post ever. i could read it 30 times i think. as soon as you start publishing books i'm going to become a reader. hope we can still be friends even though i am not a good reader like you. i love you FC.

Jen said...

I love it. May the spirit of healing descend upon his poor broken little heart. And may a pepsi descend into your hand.

Kamille said...

I need Mrs. Woodland to help my oldest with her awful handwriting. I have really really nice penmanship...I mean scrapbooking handwriting so my daughter's makes me c-r-a-z-y CRAZY! I just need to let her realize that all her little friends write cutely and maybe she'll feel peer pressure to be better. Or maybe not because she really doesn't care to be the cutest (which she is) or the most musically talented (which she also is) or the fastest reader (which she is) or the popular one (which she isn't, because she doesn't care). Hopefully that makes her an easy teenager. Wow. This is a long comment about me. Um...I love you, you are fantastic. Keep up the good work. You rock. Catch you next blog post.