Yesterday was her birthday, and she had the best day ever. I just love birthdays, don't you? It was a joy to be around her, she was just glowing like a light bulb. When she woke up she asked "How old am I again? I'm FOUR. I'm FFFOOOOUUURRRR. I'm FOUR!" She got a fancy gold crown at preschool that she wore all day -- to her fancy birthday lunch, to Costco to pick out her birthday cake and see Daddy, and at her family birthday party. The rest of her outfit was very colorful, as well. A hot pink shirt and multi-colored flower pants with a bright red Christmas skirt, lime green Princess Tiana high heels, and a light pink and bejeweled High School Musical jacket. It was her birthday, so I thought she should dress however she wanted. She looked fabulous. She got lots of smiles and I couldn't believe how nice so many people were, and how many wished her a happy birthday. She was practically electric, her smile was so big. And I'm not going to lie, with those freckles and little gaps in her teeth, it is the cutest smile ever. I am so thankful she is my daughter. She cracks me up every single day and is such a joy to be around. I love you, Miss Olivia! Thank you for being born and letting me be your Mommy!
Sigh. Momhood can be so rockin'.
In other news, the Double B inherited an alarm clock that goes off EVERY MORNING at five a.m. And no matter what you do, it doesn't ever really TURN OFF. I have been convinced someone used voodoo on this alarm clock because usually it only does it to me on the mornings when he's already off providing for our family. And that is so mean, because I am so blind it should classify as legal blindness, so I'm more like using my fingers to try to feel the button that would magically shut this thing down forever. Whatev. Happily, though, this morning it went off at about a million decibels while the Double B was sleeping right next to me. Oh, happy day! Even better, usually it's blaring really special sports radio news, but this morning it was belting out "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Which, as we all know, is a rockin' good song. So not only was I startled awake, I was startled awake to the sounds of the 80's. It could have been worse. And it was for the Double B, because I kept humming that song until I fell back to sleep. Muh-ha-ha. I don't know why he doesn't just take it outside into the cul-de-sac and smash it to smithereens. I often have fantasies about doing that myself. But not him. I think he's using it as a weapon against me. Unfortunately, I can't prove this theory.
Also, for the record: I am a lunatic. I yelled this morning at my son for no good reason. I mean, yes he was doing something he isn't supposed to do, but I could have just asked nicely and then he would have stopped. Instead I yelled. Like a real life harpy. Then I felt awful, because even as I'm yelling and he's looking at me like I am, in fact, crazy, my inner compass was saying "You are a lunatic. Calm down. This is not who you want to be. Chill out. Relax. Take something for that. Stop yelling, psycho!" Alas. I would like to conquer my natural woman, I really and honestly would. Sometimes I think I'm making some headway, and then I shoot myself in the foot all over again. It is so very frustrating for me. It seems to go in phases, too. I should just tell this particular phase it is not welcome and think about biting my tongue (hard) the next time I want to do something only a lunatic would do, especially when my sweet, impressionable seven-year-old is involved. Alas. Alas for Marie. I will say this, though: I never understood what the Savior meant when he told us to become as a little child until I was a Mother. And it is so easy to understand now. It doesn't matter how many times I'm less of a Mom then I should be, my children are always waiting with open arms and frank forgiveness. They are always looking for ways to be happy and feel love. They are not afraid to show and express their love and their emotions. And that's how I want to be, too. So I'm going to put Crazy Mom back in her closet and lock the door. Just thought you should know.