In order to make your life more full and complete, I have decided to share just a few of the things that have come out of the mind of Olivia lately.
K.J. - Mom, can we go on a date tomorrow?
Mom - I'd really like to do that, but we have to wait for a few days until we have a little more money, okay?
Olivia - Well, that's okay. We can get some money.
Mom - How do we do that?
Olivia - We'll just buy it! You can buy money, K.J. You really can!
I'd like to buy money. That would be marvelous. 50% off, please. Thank you.
We were going on a walk, and I put Katelyn in the bike trailor/stroller of awesomeness. Olivia climbed in reluctantly next to her.
Liv - Mom, I can't stand to sit here! I just can't stand to smell Katelyn anymore!
Mom - Does she stink?
Liv - She smells like cheeeeeeeeese.
And... scene. Hm. Cheese. Really?
Olivia - Mom, I just saw your big butt!
Mom - Hm. Well, Olivia, that isn't a very nice thing to say.
Olivia - Why not?
Mom - I just really don't think that's a nice word.
Olivia - Which word?
Mom - Butt. I'd rather you said 'bum.'
Olivia - Okay. I just saw your big bum!
Moral of the story: The truth hurts.
I was sitting on the bed when Olivia came up to me.
Liv - Mom, I just burped! Did I burp like a Mister?
Mom - What do you mean?
Liv - You know, like a Mister!
Mom - Like a boy?
Liv - Yeah.
Mom - Yep, you burped like a Mister. What do you say?
Liv - Excuse me!
And there you have it, folks.
In further news, on Sunday there was a musical number featuring the women and girls in the ward. I wanted to participate, but the Double B was feeling sickly and had to go home before it rolled around. I thought to myself, "Don't worry, Self, it will be fine to just take Katelyn up there and hold her whilst you sing." It... wasn't exactly ... fine.
It sort of went like this:
Women: "Walk tall, you're a daughter, a Child of God... be strong, please remember --"
Katelyn: "BAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! BLAAAAAAAHHHHHHHKKKKK! BOOOOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!"
So naturally, I tried to cover her mouth gently with my hand. Which resulted in "Neeeekkkkk!!!! EEEEkkkkKKKK!!!! Mamammamammamama!!!" Okay. That didn't work. So I gently tapped her mouth, creating the Wild Indian sound I adored so much as a child. And that worked, except in the pauses of the singing.
Women: "He's closer then you know, reach out He'll take your --"
Katelyn: "BLAAAAA, BLAHHHH, BLAAAAA, BLAAAHHHH!"
At that exact moment, I decided to never look at the audience again.
Sorry, Sister Mangleson.
Here's hopin' we can still be friends.