Monday, February 27, 2012

Honeys, Past and Current

I think Katelyn and I are coming to an understanding of sorts. It goes like this:
Katelyn combines a whine, fuss and cry into "mwhaaaaaaeeeeeeoooooommmmmmwwaaaaa!!!"
And almost every time, it means "I'm thirsty, Mom!"

See? Progress. Both of our needs are being met. She's throwing out some communication, I'm throwing out some hydration. We call this a Win-Win at our house.

This morning Olivia was watching me measure some honey.
The conversation went like this:

Liv - Mom, why do bears stick their hands in honey?

Mom - (subtext: bears... what? Oh, Pooh Bear) Well, I guess it's because they just really love honey.

Liv - Well why don't they just use a fork and spoon?

Mom - Bears don't know how to use forks and spoons.

Liv - Oh. Maybe they could learn.

And ... scene.
I have the best job in the whole wide world.
Not the easiest job. Just the best one.

The other day I saw a man that was once the boy I was head-over-heels, punch-drunk in teenage love with for roughly ... six years. I liked other boys in the meantime, don't get me wrong, but this boy was always there, tormenting my emotional well-being with his extreme cuteness and goodness. Here is a common thread in my life: I JUST LOVE GOODNESS. You have goodness, and I love you. That's it. The End.
The problem with seeing this former boy/now grown up is that I feel SO STUPID every single time I see him. Like, find me a deep hole and push me in it type of stupid. Because here is a little something about me: I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. And especially in the throws of hormonal angst, believe me when I say, it was no secret that I was enamoured with this boy. I could not control my staring. For that matter, I could not control my voice box. A self-diagnosed chatterbox, when this kind boy talked to me, I could not talk back. No matter how desperately I tried, my voice box failed me every time.

Boy - How are you today, Marie?

Girl - ........... ssmmddfff ......... (more processing)............ Good! I'm good.................. How.....pfff..... are you?

Boy - Good, thanks.

Let it be said of this person, they were so kind. Most boys I think would make a big deal of having the abject devotion of someone they had absolutely no interest in, but this person was only good and kind. Making the crush that much worse.
It was cruel, really. Fate had dealt me a hard blow.
Thankfully, the girl that the Double B was devoted to for years exited out of the picture at the same time my dream boy did, and luckily, we then devoted our grown-up hearts to each other.
But still. The idiot factor is there.
I feel so stinking stupid every time I see that now-man, former-boy.
If only there were a bush to dive behind every time we run into each other.

My Mom does her Motherly duty and talks me back from self-loathing every time this happens.
The Double B does his own thing and laughs and laughs and laughs at my mortification and then responds classic Double B style "It doesn't matter. That was years ago."

I will say this:
As far as taste goes, my teenage crush taste kicks the Double B's teenage crush taste around the corner. I just don't understand his choice at all. Pretty, yes, but is that really all he was looking for?

I guess I should change my attitude about adult sightings. I should not feel embarrassed, I should feel rather cocky: "Well, at least I have better taste then my husband."

The End.


Elise said...

Oh good, so I'm not the only person who does this. I can't stand running into people from the past, especially high school. There is no hole deep enough....

I know why bears put their hands in honey. Because they just don't care. If I was scary and big enough to fatally maul hikers I wouldn't bother with utensils either.

Thanks for the chuckle today. It was needed. :)

Ducksoup said...

we have had a few conversations lately about old crushes. perhaps because i met one of ryan's high school girlfriends a few weeks back (no make-up on and even with glasses, yikes!). so we have been discussing past loves...yadda, yadda, yadda.

luckily none of mine live near me. maybe you should just move up this way. i don't think i'd like running into any of them either.

you are funny, that is a fact of life.