Monday, March 5, 2012

The Creepers

This morning Katelyn was carrying around a large plastic cup (the noted winner of the "greatest toy ever" award) and she was putting it various places -- on our faces, on our heads, on our legs. Then she put it on Olivia's hand. Olivia's instant response -- to clench her fist in the cup and exclaim in pirate speech "Aarrrggghhhh! My hand's been chopped off!"
It's a laugh a minute around these parts.
Don't be jealous. Just come hang out here.

This morning I had a conversation with myself, ala my friend Elise.
It was started because last night around midnight I bit my fingernails -- again -- after a vow to not bight my fingernails anymore and roughly two weeks of success -- again. The weird thing is, when I'm doing it, I just don't care. I tell Temperance Marie "I just don't care about you and your weird ideas of how I should be. This is who I am, man." And then I bight away. I only care in the morning when I bit them way too low and it really kind of hurts and my nails look hideously ugly again and I can logically think about all the germs I let into my body by being a disgusting nail biter.
This is how things went down:

Marie 1 - You bit your nails again. They hurt.

Marie 2 - No duh.

Marie 1 - You shouldn't do that.

Marie 2 - Yep.

Marie 1 - You have a very addictive personality.

Marie 2 - Yep.

Marie 1 - What would have happened if you'd ever had a drink of alcohol?

Marie 2 - I would be a lush.

Marie 1 - What would have happened if you'd started experimenting with drugs?

Marie 2 - Call the rehab facility. But actually, don't. It wouldn't work with me. I'd just go right back to it.

Marie 1 - Aren't you glad you never did those things?

Marie 2 - Yep.

Marie 1 - How does this make you feel about your addictive personality?

Marie 2 - Umm.... I guess I have one?

Marie 1 - What does this tell you about the hours you have been sucked into your new fantasy show?

Marie 2 - That we're really glad we're almost caught up to this season so we can let it go?

Marie 1 - Right. Now, once again. What can we learn from acknowledging we have this strange aspect in our personality?

Marie 2 - That ... we should use our powers for good and not evil?

Marie 1 - Right. Very good.

Marie 2 - Thanks.

Marie 1 - Now stop biting your fingernails.

Marie 2 - Okay.

And there you have it. A shot right into my head. You're welcome!
You know what I learned just barely from that little writing exercise? I ask a lot of questions. I even ask myself a lot of questions. I need to think about that. It might be annoying to the Double B.

And now, a little treat.
This here is a letter written by our very own Mariah and one of her dear friends, Sherine, who just happens to be one of my young women and also just happens to be one of my favorite people in the whole world. Honestly. Just a spectacular human being.
Read and enjoy:

This magnum opus was written during a sleep over a month or so ago. That night myself and my young children were introduced to the phenomenon of "creeping," and we went and creeped pretty much the whole neighborhood. Then they went and creeped another one of their beloved young women leaders who happens to be married to a police officer. Then they thought "well, that was weird," so to make up for it, they wrote this note, taped a candy cane to it, and then ding-dong-ditched their house.
I am still laughing about it, quite frankly.
I would like to be inside the head that writes that note.

Have a wonderful day! And know that if you're being creeped by someone, it's completely done out of love.
Your friend,


Tina Williams said...

I believe I have never been creeped. You have caused me to be curious.

Tina Williams said...

P.S. Do not bite your fingernails. That is gross.

Elise said...

Okay, I have that addictive personality thought OFTEN. Like, I can't even quit sugar...imagine if I was addicted to something that was actually seriously ADDICTIVE. Thank Heaven for our church, huh? I love that it helps me protect me from myself. If that makes any sense.

What is this creeping? Is it kind of like that old game Fugitive where you run through people's yards?