Wednesday, April 11, 2012


I might be ready to talk now.

I was released on Sunday from my calling at church as Young Women's President.
It has been my calling for the past three and a half years... and I could have gone three and a half or ten or twenty years more.
What a joy this experience was for me.
What a treasure.
What a blessing.
To say it broke my heart to be released would be the understatement of 2012, and I will tell you why:


I have loved those girls with all my heart.
I have learned how deep my love for the Lord goes... to the very center of my being. I have tried so hard to love them so completely because I love Him, and I know they are His, and it was my responsibility to make sure they knew and felt that, too.
I found out I was being released almost a month before the day actually came, and I can only compare that time to emotional water torture. A constant drip, drip, drip of real pain for what seemed an abnormally long and difficult time.
Maybe that sounds funny. But unless I could show you the way into my heart, you couldn't know what those three and a half years were for me.
They changed me.
I am a different person. They helped me become closer to the woman I want to be and never imagined I could. I know now that I can be that woman.
They helped me to know how merciful my Father in Heaven is, how mindful He is of me. They helped me recognize and finally understand and embrace my worth and my place in His kingdom.
They turned what was a small sapling tree and turned it into a thick trunk of testimony and love.
Through this experience, my hard heart has become a living heart... it can only be described as a Mighty Change.
Sunday was hard. I have found that sometimes for me, I tend to figuratively clench my fists tightly, and it is hard to let them release. I went to church ready and hopeful that the Lord would open my fingers and sooth my aching hand. I am thankful for the mercy He showed. I am thankful He got me through that sacrament meeting. I am thankful for the outpouring of love between my girls hearts and their leaders hearts that occurred during class... it was so tender. A memory I will always take with me and treasure so closely.
Mostly, I am thankful.
You just would never believe how much I have learned. Even my dear husband agrees, I am a different woman. And because of that, our family has been so blessed. We are thankful.
I am thankful, thankful, thankful for my girls.
Even as they move on, as is right, I will always consider them mine -- they will always have a flourishing corner of my heart, a corner full of happiness and gratitude and love that will always be theirs. I am so proud of them. I am so proud of their goodness. I am so proud of all they have accomplished in this time. I am so proud of their knowledge and increasing love for the scriptures. I am so proud of their growing testimonies and love for the Lord. I am so proud of who they are. I am so proud that I have been a small part of their experience.
And I thank them, from the bottom of my little pea-pickin' heart, for letting me be. For their beautiful friendship and the love they have shared with me. And the many, many hours of laughing and laughing and laughing some more.
What a great experience.
I do know in my heart that God is good and so mindful of us. And my whole self just sings with gratitude to Him for giving me this gift of time and growth.
I know that the only gift I can give back to Him for all He has given me is obedience.
I have a desire to serve Him every day. And I can not wait to find out where He's going to put me to use next.


Tamari said...

I vote Primary!!! Three words: I. LOVE. PRIMARY. haha, it is true.

I too have served in the Young Women's organization and it is such a blessing. But, I must admit the time I spent there I didn't take it to heart the way you have. You are such a great example to me of magnifying a calling. I can feel from your posts how much you love these girls, it is tangible. They will never forget you Marie. You have changed their lives for the better.

I can't wait to hear what is next for you! :)

Ducksoup said...

beautiful post. loved every single word. you are amazing.

Mariah Jenny said...

I am so proud of you rie rie. It is a beautiful post. It makes me excited to see your getting everything off your chest. Thanks for being our young women president leader. You really have benefited our lives in soo many wonderful ways. thanx for everything rie. you have totally changed us and our lives.
I cant't wait for your next calling!!! your the best Marie to the stars!
love you so very much mom!