I shall now write a list.
Songs That Should Be Banned:
* Abide With Me, 'Tis Eventide.
Why, you ask? Because it's a killer. It tends to be sung at funerals, and it murders me. If I ever die, I want people to sing things like The Hokey Pokey at my funeral. And that is all based on if I agree to die or not.
* God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again.
At least pick up the tempo. Again, wallowing in despair. How about we replace this hymn with the Two Little Magic Words song every time we are tempted to sing it. Or the song about how no one likes a frowny face, change it to a smile. That would also be suitable.
* Any Britney Spears song, ever. No explanation necessary, but since you asked, I'll go there. I pity Britney Spears. I really do. And for the sake of her and us, I wish they would revoke her recording privileges. Britney, I'm sure you're a nice person.
My Best Friends In Elementary School:
* Trina. Yes, my sister-in-law. Don't really remember a time when Trina was not in my life, lucky me. She used to dream of being a wife and mother. I made a wedding invitation for her and my brother Jon. They are now married, so yeah... I've got powers. Trina coached me through learning to wear a bra, a truly terrible experience. We used to ride bikes named Pink Lightning and Green Thunder. We frequently took a quarter to the store and split a lemon, carrying the salt shaker everywhere with us. We shared lolly pops. Once we were playing pretend in her play house and it was an airplane. We pretended I fell out of the airplane, so I ran down the stairs onto the lawn and laid down. Trina came running to save me. There was a really, really bad smell that unfortunately I was laying on. It was chicken poop. I laid right in chicken poop. Trina let me borrow some clothes. Because that is just the kind of girl she is.
* Emily. With Trina, we were the Fearless Three Forever. I don't know exactly why we were fearless, but I suspect it had something to do with us following our dreams of becoming a Carpenters tribute band named The Evergreens. Our opening act would involve us coming out dressed in gigantic evergreen costumes. I know -- I don't know why our dreams never came true, either. We were also known as Get M.E.T., It Pays. You get it, right? M.E.T. -- Marie, Emily, Trina? Clever. One day we decided to put on a concert in the park and got some of our gullible friends to come support us in our efforts. One kind parent even provided punch. When the time came, though, I felt unprepared and we had a very dramatic discussion behind the pavilion. The concert went unperformed, but we still had punch, so that was good. I was definitely the diva in this group. I don't exactly know why, but I have since repented. I like to think the diva has been murdered and left in the desert, but I can't say for sure. Emily is really a nice, kind, gentle soul. I saw her like -- last year? She so graciously stopped by on a road trip to see the M. and T. of Get M.E.T. Reunited once more.
* Candace. She had hair so long and thick that her mom had to use all her strength to wrap those extra big hair ties around it once. This always hurt my feelings, because I had short and wispy hair that I didn't know how to do and that wasn't anything to write home about. She also had a farm, and we had many great times at that farm. It was there I married McCauley Culkin. We have seven children now. Candace was tough. She was kind of short. She had a totally awesome family that I absorbed myself into. Her mom was named Virginia but everybody called her Ginny. Ginny was uber cool. She loved Billy Joel and assured me that if I was hit on a the head by a gigantic rock during the Second Coming, everything would still work out okay. I don't know why that was a concern of mine, but that is one cool friend's mom.
* Karrie. Karrie was my bff during the fifth grade. I was mighty concerned, because none of my regular friends were in Mr. Winn's class with me (also my Mom's fifth grade teacher, so -- cool), but along came Karrie and it worked out great. Karrie was a country girl, she lived on a great big farm, too. When I was getting ready to move she had a party at her house for me way out on a country road and wanted to take a "walk." She had prepared a walk of terror for me, basically, friends and cousins (she had roughly one million) hiding along the way to howl like coyotes. I said a naughty word, and Karrie was very shocked. But I was pretty sure I was going to die, so that was kind of hard to control. At a picnic Karrie asked me what I was going to do in my new home across the state. As a dancer, my parents lured me by saying a new performing arts high school was supposed to open in a few years at the giant arts facility in a neighboring community and I could go there. I told Karrie of my plans, and as we were walking away her mom murmured "Yeah, right. Like that's ever going to happen." Or something just like that. You can't imagine how much that hurt my feelings. But guess what. I went to that school as a dancer and as an actress, and it was an amazing experience. My parents kept their word, but they are pretty amazing like that. And I followed my dream. So ha, Karrie's Mom. I try to be more like Candace's mom, if you catch my drift. Because little ears are listening. But I bet she's a real nice lady and I'm not kidding about that. Karrie was cool, so, you know. It had to come from somewhere.
* Brian. First grade. We wrote a masterpiece together (and with our friend Krystal) called 'Brian and the Beanstalk.' We'd walk all over together during recess, and people accused us of being in love. But we weren't engaged or anything. We were just buddies. Brian was kind of shy and we never had many in depth conversations later. Hope he's doing well. Brian, how ya doin'? You okay? Good.
So anyhow. Those were the elementary school years.
Things I have made thanks to Pintrest in the last week:
A Wall decoration for my niece, the beautiful Adelah.
3 Recipes for dinner, all highly acceptable.
A Fall hanging for my door.
Finished a candy corn wreath.
And there you have it. Pintrest. It's changing lives.
You have just read the most random post ever. But you know more about me, which means I'm not one voice alone in the universe (name that musical).
See you later, friends.