Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

Let's all laugh at the plight that is Being Marie.

Yesterday, as promised, I had my first taste (just a small sampling) of a Midwest thunder storm. My friend Bev said it would be "impressive," and it. was. My new friend Kyrsten said it would shake my whole house, and it. did.
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
That first CRACK made me squeal and jump, but I was brave for the eternal RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE that followed each crack.
In the Doctrine and Covenants, it talks about how the thunder and lightning will talk in the last days telling the earth to repent.
I look forward to that. And yet... I don't. I guess it depends on how nice of a person I am if I'm around when the thunder and lightning actually starts speaking.

Heading into bed last night, I had a headache. This surprises... no one. They have been more friendly then usual over the last few months, and they settle right around my right eye. You know the kind? You can't lay down, because it's too painful, you can't sit up because it's too painful, you can't recline, etc., you just have to find the least painful position and pray for sleep? We all know what I am talking about. So that was my friend, the Headache, last night. It woke me up at 2:30, my noggin screaming for some extra strength Tylenol (you may question why I didn't just take some before bed or anytime before then, but don't. It would just be a waste of your time. I don't know why I don't just wise up). As I laid there, I thought "What is that sound?" And sure enough, it was a siren. I then thought "Is that an ambulance, or is that THE siren?" I strained to hear -- it sort of sounded emergency-like, but it wasn't stopping. I sat up and put on my glasses. Definitely a siren, and it wasn't stopping. Uh-oh. I then think "Self, that is the tornado siren." So reluctantly, but it's been a good two minutes and the twister could be descending on my house at that very moment, I shake the Double B awake and say "Honey, I think the tornado siren is going off." Being a diligent protector, he sat right up and strained to listen. He asked "Are you sure it's not an ambulance?" And I answered "No, but it's been going off for a few minutes." Naturally, the siren then faded off into the distance. Feeling sheepish, I headed down to the tornado room to get some Tylenol, then in to the potty. The Double B comes in and I apologize. He said it's okay, because he is nice. Then he snuggles up to me, trying to fall back to sleep, while I lay there in misery and idiocy. Finally, finally, I fall back to sleep and when I wake up a few hours later, it is to the sweet, merciful feeling of no pain. Hallelujah! My faithful husband is off to work. I felt bad... he struggles so much to get any sleep, anyway. And I woke him up for a false tornado alarm.


Let the record show, it takes very special people to love me. Very, very special people.

This morning I woke up to a couple of inches of snow. This sort of fills me with horror, because the roads are covered, definitely hold ice, and I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IN THESE DIABOLICAL CONDITIONS. While taking the children to school, I have to shift right into four-wheel drive. I make it out of the subdivision! Sweet! Then, pulling on to the main road, the Durango catches some ice and we slide out of control, picking up speed, sideways. We spin about half way around and finally stop. My heart is not doing well. Thankfully, mercifully, there was no car in the other lane for me to demolish. But I know right then I just have to get my children back home. Because I can't drive in this, this was a big mistake, and I can't leave them there at school not knowing I can get back to them. We pray our way home -- much to K.J.'s delight and Olivia's dismay, because today was her sharing day. I text Bev to tell her I can't come to lunch after all, because we almost died! She then texts back "Where is your spirit of adventure!!!" I don't know. I think I killed it. I then called my Mom to share the horror. Then I hang up the phone and cry because I am a horrible mother, a horrible friend, and just a complete failure as a human being. All this, because I can't drive in the snow.
I'm not really a cryer, either. But I just wept. Big, fat, miserable tears. Then I said my prayers, lit the fire for Olivia, and read my scriptures until I felt better. Not long after, the snow had melted enough to turn the streets to slush. Slush I can drive in! So I loaded the kids back up, and they were to school by 11:30. Kate and I headed to Bev's after all, where she fed me potato soup and homemade rolls and pretended like I was actually brave.
On the way home, Katelyn yelled the whole way "Thank you, Bev! I love you, Bev!"

And now I am here, half-way through cleaning up K.J.'s Lego's, feeling that friendly headache coming back for a visit (not for long this time -- I'm heading straight for the Tylenol!), and feeling like maybe I'm not a miserable failure after all, maybe I'm just Marie.

And that's the way it is.


Kyle, Alicia, and Jaxson said...

Sorry about your headache and the siren last night. No fun. About driving in the snow, I have been driving in crazy snow every winter for the past 10 years. I have been successful all 10 years. But, It STILL scares the CRAP out of me every time I drive in the snow. I have done 3 180's and one of those was at the beginning of the month. So don't worry, I probably would've done the exact same thing. I value my life and the lives of my family members, just like you. So I'm with ya on going back home. I'm so glad it turned to slush so your little ones could go to school and you could have lunch with your friend! You're awesome!!

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Elise said...

Whoa, commenter number two. Rein it in a little, buddy. ;)

Umm...I forgot what I was going to say after that...

Oh yeah. Driving in snow is THE WORST. I don't blame you for taking your kids home. I wouldn't have even left my house. I have been known to take sedatives when my husband has to drive us through anything even remotely snowy. I am a wreck. How I survived two New England winters is beyond me.

Bev sounds like a nice lady and a good friend. I'm glad you have her. :)

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