We are hoping to make it back to Utah for a visit this summer. Last night I dreamt that we were able to go and the time there just flew by -- way too fast -- and before I knew it, it was time to come back to Kansas City. And I felt absolutely miserable that we had to go. So miserable I could barely get up and move towards the door. It was a very vivid dream, and I woke up feeling a little "angsty." It's funny, because we've been doing so well. I don't necessarily think it was an accurate dream... we are really building a life here and we are all in a good place, from Mom and Dad to all three kids.
Saturday night we drove down to the south side of the city, which is in Kansas. It is really pretty. We almost bought there -- it has ancient trees on well-established streets and is very charming, but I was glad to come back to the Northland. Not quite so tamed and dignified, but lush and friendly and comfortable. When we pulled down our street after a long night, Katelyn was the only one not happy about it. She is a big adventurer and loves to be out and about. She made her opinion known: "Uh! I not want to go home!" I asked her where she wanted to go instead. She said "To Grandma and Grandpa's house!"
The Double B said "Who doesn't, Katelyn?"
I thought that was cute.
It is an interesting thing in moving and establishing yourself somewhere else. The Double B is excelling and opening up doors for himself at a thrilling rate, I am so proud of him, and so happy that his back-breaking style of hard work is finally getting him the recognition he deserves. It is giving us hope for work opportunities that we had stopped hoping would be possible. We've talked a lot about those opportunities the last couple of weeks and when and where to take them. But underneath all of that is still the part of you that just wants to go home.
Growth is an interesting thing.
It is easier for me to read my scriptures in the morning, so as I sat down on the couch today I was all ready to go -- even at my very favorite section of my very favorite book, The Book of Mormon -- today would have been Alma 32! One of my most favorite chapters in all of scripture. But I couldn't focus. My mind kept going over events in my past -- things that were hard over the couple of years, people, places -- and I couldn't focus. Does that ever happen to you? I would read but I wasn't really taking in what I was reading, which is too bad, because it's seriously an amazing chapter. So I just held my scriptures for a minute and let my mind roam. I was surprised where it was taking me. Reviewing events that had been very painful, things that I've moved on from and haven't bothered me recently. It was interesting. I looked at the perspective I've gained and the distance from the events that has helped the stinging. But I was surprised that it would be so compelling this morning, and demand attention. So I decided to save Alma 32 for tomorrow, since I don't want to miss out on one beautiful verse. I flipped to The Pearl of Great Price, where I spend the second half of my scripture time right now. I knew I wouldn't be able to focus so much on words, but studied the chart I had left off on, pondered, and I felt comforted.
Learning, stretching, growing.