Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Dinner Guests

Last night the Elders came for dinner. It was interesting.
I retell this story for our family history... I think the children should know the truth, dang it.
So since it was sort of an unplanned event -- a friend couldn't feed them and asked me to help out, I looked at our menu plan to see what could feed two additional men and would not take too much planning, because -- I plan once every two weeks for meals, and then all bets are off. I know that I will stick to those meals and leave me alone! I settled on breakfast for dinner. Fancy? NO. But potentially delicious? Yes. Plus, I had hash browns! And bacon! And strawberries and whipped cream! (See the previous planning comment.) So we went for it. I even made the most delicious scrambled eggs, Granny-style, because I closely watched my Mom make them at Christmas so I could replicate. They were super good, I'm not going to lie. I felt awesome, and also cosmically connected to my maternal grandmother, master chef. That was needed, because the last few days we've had some real baking tragedies that have hurt my feel-goods and growing kitchen confidence, and caused comparisons within myself -- I'LL NEVER BE TRINA, DANG IT!!! But that's okay, Trina (my excellent sister-in-law) is really good at... everything... and I'm good at... some things. So see? It all comes out in the wash. Speaking of wash, I still have one load of laundry to fold. And I was supposed to vacuum yesterday, as Monday was officially assigned as vacuum the whole house day. But it's also laundry day, and how much should Monday be assigned, really, when your ribs hurt? So I pushed vacuum day to Tuesday, but so far things aren't looking too good. My ribs! How much do I need to complain about my ribs before they leave me alone or before you all kill me?!
Anyhow. Back to the dinner. So just as we're almost ready, everybody pitching in, the Elders call and are going to be about half an hour late. The Double B, who had been awake since 2:45 a.m., expressed concern about how late they'd stay and wandered out of the kitchen in distress. I sat down trying to find relief from my murderous ribs (complaint 3... don't worry, I'm keeping track) while keeping track of everything. When they arrived, the kids were practically beside themselves. They LOVE the missionaries. Rabidly, rabidly LOVE the missionaries. The Double B and I love them, too. We haven't been able to feed them as much as we usually do, because I'm growing a human and try to be realistic about things. But the KIDS... they have missed them being over as much. So they were bouncing all over the place.
Half way through dinner, I had to ask my darling husband to switch me chairs, because his had better back support, while I gripped my ribs and grimaced like a pirate (complaint 4). The Elders looked at me a little funny, and one commented how he really thought pregnancy would be easier every time since you'd done it before. I thought that was darling. Immediately after we ate, I herded everyone down to the couches desperate for comfort (5) while the Double B anxiously worried about how soon his poor tired body would get to sleep.
Elder Hepworth and Elder Davies had a great time working the kids up through high-fives, jokes and tickles to fever pitch. They were, honestly, in hysterics. Then Elder Davies tried to turn us to the lesson, hoping we could quickly get all spiritual. I liked that. The innocence of pre-parenting! They pulled out a picture of the plan of salvation and asked the kids to help them explain it. As we talked about the pre-earth life, Olivia asked what our spirits were, if they were made of bones. Daddy tried to explain, but it is a little tricky, so then Elder Davies said "I like to think of our spirits as the creamy filling inside of a Twinkie."
Oh. My. Gosh.
That was it. That struck me as the single funniest comparison I have ever heard, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed until I cried, which brought my silly punch-drunk children back up to fever level. The Double B told me it was funny, but not THAT funny... but oh my gosh, it just cracked me up. The creamy filling? Really? I will never look at a Twinkie in the same way again! Naturally, this caused me to really, really need the bathroom, and as you Moms know, you really can't wait in this situation. So I excused myself while they continued on.
As I headed back up the stairs KJ loudly proclaimed that I took so long I'd even missed the prayer! Awkward... so I thanked them for representing for me. Katelyn met me on her way DOWN the stairs, utterly devastated because Daddy had told her to stop picking her nose and eating it (a real problem for her right now). Her feelings were very, very hurt, as they are every time Daddy gets after her, and I think she was a little embarrassed. I comforted her and the Elders got everybody laughing again, when KJ, who was really past the point of hyperactive, let freedom ring with a very loud and long fluff. This cracked the Elders UP... they are males, after all. At that point, I just had to hang my head and confess that they knew pretty much everything about us at that point and could now rest in peace. Honestly!
As the Double B herded them out the door, Olivia kept poking Elder Hepworth in the back, convinced she would convince him it wasn't really her at all!
It was a little bit exhausting, last evening. BB took them home and I read the kids their scriptures and tucked them into bed. I had a nice visit with my Mom as I laid on the bed and she drove home from work. My darling husband came back with a blended root beer float from sonic to bribe me into giving him a hair cut, so we took care of that while Olivia headed downstairs to inform us that Kate was already asleep and she was "feeling lonely." I gave her a big hug. Then I laid in the dark reading on my phone while the Double B gently started snoring beside me.
It was an interesting night.

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