My hormones are on the blitz this week. I'm exhausted and short tempered, which I try to swallow (to varying levels of success), and am generally just obnoxious to myself, ha ha! Being a girl. Sheesh! I am hoping to recover soon!
I was thinking earlier about when I worked with the young women. I love the primary so much and even if it took me awhile to relax, I legitimately find joy there! I feel great pleasure spending time trying to brighten the days of little people, let them know they are loved, and trying to serve the Lord in my small way. It is a great place. I was thinking about when I served in the young women's organization... how easy it was to completely turn myself over to God to use as He saw fit. I felt very profound joy in my service. And I miss that -- I miss feeling like I was able to give my all, holding nothing back. I try very hard to do that in every calling, but that one was special.
The Double B very kindly made dinner tonight. It was so greatly appreciated! I taught my little ones this afternoon and oh boy, did I feel grateful to not have to then make dinner! Afterwards we got talking about some of the amazing families we know and love from that time in our life, and I told him how much I miss that ability to immerse myself in that service. He was very kind bouncing off ideas, but one thing he said that meant so much to me is that he thought the Lord used me as an instrument in His hands, to give my all and focus on what I did, because the Lord knew He would be needing those sister missionaries. I have one of my girls home from a mission and four currently serving! That thought -- that maybe I made a difference -- made me feel so happy.
I'll continue doing my best.
Today there was a little Relief Society luncheon. It was fun to sit and visit with the great ladies in my ward, and there were some of my Littles from primary there (and some I teach in class). I was sitting by my little 4-year-old friend Sophie, chatting with her and her mom, when I turned to another sister for a minute. When I turned back, Sophie's mom told me that Sophie had turned to her and whispered "Mom, Miss Marie is always happy!" That just melted my heart that she felt that way. What a sincere compliment! I hope I can keep making these little friends feel like I am so happy to see them and there is so much to be happy about.