Hugs and Kisses
The Double B took these pictures yesterday morning and I adore them. So darn cute, these two babies of mine. That's the thing about parenting, these people wear you out and make you smile like nothing else. BB and I are grateful for our four little (and not so little) maniacs.
Today was a great day.
KJ passed the sacrament for the first time. It was so touching to this Momma. He did a beautiful job, so reverent and respectful, and it truly touched my heart seeing him serve the Savior and his fellow men that way. As I watched him with tear-filled eyes, the Spirit filled my whole person with gratitude. I don't know if I've ever had a moment where I have been more grateful for the decisions made in our lives that led to that moment. I don't know how else to describe it than in that minute, I felt the confidence and joy that we'd traveled the right course. It didn't last long, but I felt deeply satisfied.
It was interesting, because first thing this morning I said my prayers and started to get ready for the day, and got thinking about the Double B. I wanted to be an actor. I never intended to live the life I ended up living, but I did intend to do what God would have me do. Then God threw a wrench in my plan -- the Double B. I didn't want to fall in love and get married, but I knew with absolute certainty, I KNEW, that if I let this man go, I would regret it for the rest of my life. And somehow I gathered the courage to live the life God chose for me. There is a quote that says "those who turn their lives over to God will find that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can." I have trusted that. And so far, He has. I thought about that alternate universe Marie. I honestly don't think I'd be married if I'd said no to BB; I think I'd be acting, and who knows what else. But instead, I got to experience today. And Friday, when Benson walked five steps out of the clear blue sky. And yesterday when everyone snapped at each other all day long. And tomorrow, when I'll get them off to school, and down for a nap, and finally sit down in relief. God is making more of my life.
Spencer W. Kimball said there is no such thing as a one and only, that we could be happy with many different people. I think that's true. But I do believe in a "best case scenario." I believe that BB is my best case scenario. I believe I am his. I believe we were brought to each other. And I think that the Spirit was very serious when it warned me that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't choose him.
I'm so glad I don't have to carry that regret.
I'm so glad that I could watch our son carry the sacrament tray for the first time with tears in my eyes, that the Double B could watch our son carry the sacrament tray for the first time with a big smile on his face, and that we could have the following sneaky text exchange:
Him -- Man, we are getting old. KJ passing the sacrament????? It seems like yesterday he was playing with those trains.
Me -- It's so true. Bless our hearts.
And... scene. KJ really did a good job. He even handled running out of bread. He was by his primary president and whispered "I don't know what to do!" She let him know to go exchange the tray. And when they lined up in the back they were right behind us and Benson looked up at him with great big eyes, like "what in the heck are you doing, Bubba?!" It was pretty much great.
Big times around these parts.