"No" is the hardest thing for me to say. I have gotten myself into so many humongous pickles the last few years by my inability to say "no" to people -- even when, really, the answer needs to be no. And then I end up just resenting the pudding out of what I should have said no to in the first place! It's a vicious cycle.
Tonight I had an old aquaintance instant message me and strongly hint that we needed to come to Henderson Tuesday night (more then an hour away in Vegas traffic) to help them move in to their new home. Refusing to take the hint and trap us into a situation that we are really unable to do was so hard! And now I'm racked with guilt. But we would have had to move mountains and it isn't realistic. I don't want that. And it probably sounds terrible, but I did it. I said "no." It was very uncomfortable to do.
I know this is rooted in wanting to be a good person. A Christian person. In wanting to be all things to all people. But really, this girl just needs to learn that little two letter word and apply it to her life! Not in all things, but when it counts.
I have been reading about this topic since being maneuvered into being "Day Camp Liason" in our ward and suffering through a few months of stressful pounding my head into a wall, simply because I couldn't say "no, thanks" when I should have! It was horrible. I really, really wished I would have just been honest. I couldn't take it on and should have said so! So I want to be better at this.
I'm learning a few things:
1) No is a complete sentence. That is the answer. No additional information or explanation need be given here. Just "no."
2) The Australians have a cultural expression: "Can't be bothered." It is generally understood as a nice and acceptable way to say "I could, but it really wouldn't work out for me, so no -- I can't be bothered." No one thinks it's rude. It is totally acceptable! We need to adopt that.
I am working on self-improvement. And saying "no" when appropriate would be awesome. I'm going to work on it. I think I could still make it to heaven, even with a few "no's" under my belt!