Thursday, May 23, 2019

Very Quick Trip

Guys, it's been a really long couple of days. I feel like I should be writing out "There and Back Again: A Hobbits Tale, by Bilbo Baggins" while telling Frodo that I'm tired in my bones. But I'll refrain. Plus, I'm just regular tired, not bone tired. Also, not a hobbit. 
Moving on. 
We drove a lot in pouring rain yesterday and today, and had a very heart palpitating moment while hydroplaning last night. Yikes. Glad to report we survived, though, so no need to worry! 
Here's Benson being the cutest person alive at breakfast yesterday: 
 I was sad to miss the last day of school with my kids today but Daddy made it fun for them. And as promised, I made it home just in time to go to Sonic after 8 and drive around looking for a dumpster fire while eating ice cream, per tradition. No fire this year. But still worth the looking.
I encountered this amazing thought yesterday and thought it was really something. You need to see it:
Let's ponder that together, class. 

We got to SLC really late last night and I basically went right to sleep. Didn't think of the blog once, for which I apologize. But you made it through, anyway! I'm proud of you.
Headed out early this morning to the viewing for my Uncle Jim and got this glorious picture of my Dad. His walking sticks look just like ski poles and he is always doing these hilarious poses with them to make us laugh. The slant on the driveway today was especially beneficial for the skiing motif.
The best part was, a car pulled up to the stop sign just as he was doing this and stopped and stared at him in bewilderment. But he stuck with it and was silly, anyway. His commitment to a good ski picture was total. We just laughed our tails off after they drove away!
I love a person unafraid to be silly and laugh at life above all else. Good job, Father. I come from very fine and very silly stock. I sincerely loved this moment.

The funeral for Uncle Jim was so great. One of my favorite funerals ever, if that's a thing. My cousin Mike spoke and said about his Dad "What was important to us, he liked." I wrote that down because I felt that was such an amazing reflection of how I want my kids to feel. That if something is important to them, I'm not just interested in it, but I'm a fan with them. Mike also said that his Dad would encourage us to "enjoy life, be sentimental, pursue your passions, and just be who you are." I liked that good advice.
It was very sweet and I felt thankful for life and especially for my family. 

Dad's secret talent: 
Personal highlight of the day: seeing my gorgeous, talented, and oh so kind FC. We don't get to see each other enough. Also, during the funeral, her little guy E gave me a rice krispy treat, got one for himself, and felt like we should eat them together right then. So we did. Was my heart melted? Yes. Did I feel very touched, indeed? Yes. Was it the best rice krispy treat ever? Yes again. 
 My parents and Aunt Mary Lou braving the elements. Guys, it was really cold. And this is really cute.
It was a very nice celebration of life and I'm so glad to be home for just one hot minute. 
I love you. Goodnight. 

Tuesday, May 21, 2019


Here's your thought for the day: 
Just keep swimming. 

The school race is on. 

Benson had his last day of preschool (vice like squeeze in my chest. I hope I'll be able to take this kindergarten thing).

Olivia had her STEM presentation and did a really great job. That girl can get up in front of people with her large brain and speak confidently and clearly. She's got game. 

Katelyn brought home the world's heaviest backpack today and didn't stop talking to even take a breath the whole way home from school. This has been her best year yet. 

KJ had his lesson and was so happy to just get back to the picky technique again. His teacher is really proud of him and is ready to go. She wants to turn him into the musician he wants to be. We're lucky to have her. Then he went to a baseball game with the young men and apparently ate the world's most delicious pretzel. I was happy to hear that. 

I was busy today. Squeezed in a farewell luncheon and ministering and school visits and a lesson and still made dinner. Cause I'm a boss, yo. My walk was the victim of rain and lost its last 15 minutes. I really missed that last bend in the road. Walking is fun. 

Honestly just hoping to have a heart big enough to get through the next couple of days. I love you, my people. 

Monday, May 20, 2019

Scattering Of Thoughts

Got KJ's musicianship scores today:
Guess you can say he took that musicianship test and kicked its trash. 
Go, KJ, go. He was a pretty happy boy. 

Tonight Olivia was explaining to me how young love is just like a BTS song. Sometimes it's thrilling. And sometimes you feel like it's all just fake love(!) and that "I'm going to die alone... with cats... NO DEGREE!!!" 
I got such a laugh. Her delivery is always so perfect for my funny bone. I told her that I deeply understand all that angst. And most importantly, if she wants a degree, I truly believe in her ability to go get one.

This is a time period of learning to listen to myself. To my body, my heart, and my mind. I believe that I will know how to do that. That when the time comes, I will know what to do. Guided meditation is helping me so much with the mindfulness I've been seeking. I am finally starting to hear myself in quiet moments. I trust that I WILL know.

Spent today trying to figure out how to operate this week. Last week of school has finally arrived and the children are so happy about it. And I am, too, because suuuummmmeeer!!!!!

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Uncle Jim

Tonight my Uncle Jim passed away. He is the husband of my Mom's oldest sister, Pat.
My mind has been flooded with memories of him. He had been a constant for me throughout my life.
I keep seeing this little memory video running through my mind of him at my high school graduation. He was the videographer and followed me around proudly. I was proud of him, too.
He challenged me to think deeply about my positions on pretty much every topic that we ever discussed.
I knew that he loved me. He made sure that I knew that he thought that I was a smart girl.
And I loved him back.

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Saturday (Is A Special Day)

Today started out with a nice slow morning. We all agreed to just loiter happily while we could. Then rush! And now bedtime.

KJ did the performance portion of his musicianship exam down at UNLV at one. He sounded great through the door. He played several complicated scales in different playing styles, an etude, did a section of sight reading, named chords etc. by ear and then played four pieces, one from each musical era (Baroque, Classical, Romantic, and Contemporary, just if you were curious. I didn't used to know these things). He has really worked hard for this and is relieved it's over. And great news, he said that as soon as he walked into the room that his nerves disappeared. So hooray.

I love Las Vegas. It's such a great city with great people. And I'm so glad that I hardly ever have to go downtown. The Strip is so far removed from what life is really like here. Thank goodness.

Then we had a nice time at the Whitaker's going away party. We will miss them! But will get to see them when we visit KC, so that's nice. I also learned tonight that Benson can ride a scooter like a boss. The more you know.

The end.

Friday, May 17, 2019

Liv's Leg Lamp

Today the Double B was off and we had such a dreamy day with Benson, running all the errands that are not nearly as fun when you do them yourself. He is a catch, that Double B. Funny, cute as all heck, exasperating, and extremely Male. 

This evening was the end of the year award ceremony where we were summoned to watch Olivia win two Major Awards (similar to a leg lamp, but different): a pin for the President's Award and a fancy plaque for a whole year of straight A's. She is in sixth grade but tested into all honors seventh grade english, science, and math classes. And kicked their tushies. She is a brain that is benefited by a ferocious desire to learn. Proud of the person that she is, Major Awards or not. 
 An hour and a half in a hot gym proved too much for Benson, who finally crashed and slept for about an hour of it, comfortable in Momma's arms. It was sooo sweet. And hot. And uncomfortable. And precious. His little arm on my shoulder is the real clincher. Love this baby mine.
The end of the school year races toward us.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Put Me In, Coach

One week ago today was one of the best days ever. Ever. Here's a hint: 

I hope you guys know that I am a great proponent of being kind and gentle to yourself. This is obviously something I value very much, right? Something I truly believe is a worthwhile, lifelong priority... that's clear, right? Do I make that obvious enough? I believe in loving yourself and speaking kindly to yourself, on being the best friend that you need. I believe in that so much. Fundamentally. 
I hope you guys know that.

But here I am, Human Marie, and by the time the day was over, I was really feeling not so good about our friend Marie. And WHY? The dumbest reasons, guys. Just the dumbest reasons. And I'm not dumb. So I don't buy it. I don't buy it. I'm a great girl with great potential to do good in this world. So I'm going to be kind to me. 

And P.S.: World, if I don't look like I'm 20, guess what, I'm 36. I'm not 20. I'm way cooler than I was at 20, too, so you're welcome. 

And P.P.S.: I am going to stress way less starting tonight about my life changing next year and what I'm going to do with my life in Chapter 3. I have time to figure it out and dad gummit, I'm going to be intentional and trust myself. Also, I'm not asking for any more opinions (except God's, but I've noticed He doesn't seem interested in making all of my decisions). Guess who is a strong, competent, occasionally wise, one and only, 36 year old Marie? Me. That's who. I'll know what to do when the time arrives. 

Guys, here's an awesome new quote from Gary Stevenson:
So here we go -- I am amazing and awesome. I am a daughter of God. He loves me.
Now you say it.

Sweet dreams, you giant-hearted people. Tomorrow is a new day and the sun will rise again and shine warmly on our faces.