Monday, January 25, 2010

Forgiveness... But Livi First

My daughter is also having a baby.

She informed me of this three days ago, and I thought it might be important to spread this little piece of news.
She is slightly confused by the whole baby-in-the-tummy thing, and is always asking to look in my mouth so that she can see the baby. I try to explain you can't see the baby that way, the baby is clear in Mommy's tummy. So she rubs my tummy, and agrees that yes, it is mysteriously getting much bigger. On Friday she was rubbing my tummy and finally lifted up her own shirt to declare "Mommy, I gots a baby, too. A baby in my tummy. Oh, oh -- the baby is giving me a tummyache. Be nice, baby!"

I thought this was slightly hilarious. Since then, several times a day she lifts her shirt and reminds me she has a baby in her tummy, too. She informed our home teachers yesterday. And this morning I was straightening the living room and she was staring at me, only to declare "Mom, your tummy is getting huge. Look at my tummy! It's getting huge, too!!!" She makes me laugh.

She is also a streaker. She streaked at least three times yesterday while said home teachers were here, and once came in, turned her back to them, and expained how her panties came down a little just like this. It was a complete mooning. Of course, they laughed, and I was embarrassed but had to laugh as well. Luckily, they have children, too. They know the routine. This reminds me of how she runs when she needs to go potty or is coming in to declare a potty triumph. Her unders are around her knees and she does a cowboy hobble at the speed of lightning. I wish you could see it, because it is seriously delightful. Of course, she's my kid. I don't know if you'd find it as delightful as I do. But... you might. She also informed me yesterday that she couldn't help clean up because "I'm too little."

The last few days I have been thinking about forgiveness. I just think it's an interesting piece of gospel happiness. And really, seriously -- so much of our personal happiness depends upon our ability to forgive. And forgiving someone who is a real creep and seriously injured you or someone you love can be difficult; if not impossible, without the Savior stepping in to lift your burden. The thing for me is that I have had to forgive a few times in my life when it seemed absolutely impossible, and I built a wall between myself and the Lord. Luckily I learned -- rather painfully -- that it was me, and only me, that built the wall, and that He could and would help me take it down and also remove my terrible burden of anger. So now I have realized just how mad I am at the jerk of a guy my sweet grandma was married to. I never think of him without thinking terrible things. I often hope he is miserable. Doesn't... sound... very... Christ-like... does... it. I'm working on it. I want it to change. And I know the Savior can help me do it. I need a mighty change of heart. And darnit, it can be done!
And I guess that's my rather random testimony on the subject. Maybe somebody needed to hear it. Maybe only I needed to hear it. Have a nice day.
Also, The End.


Ducksoup said...

rieser i love you, you know that. yesterday in church i shared your testimony on prayer. you probably already have heard this quote... Elder Perry said, “I can think of no greater teaching to our children than that of the power of prayer. We should do it by example, and take our children daily before the Lord and give them the peace and assurance that can come from knowing they are a child of our Father in Heaven.” and i added in my talk what an amazing job my cousin was doing of teaching her children how to pray. as for grandpa jack - - i say don't waste your energy worrying about him. yup, he stole. and yup it made me real mad but no need for your pure soul to be angry because of his greediness. we'll let him just answer to god on that one. i love president monson's talk on anger from the priesthood session of conference. it was our relief society lesson yesterday and something i needed to hear cause i seem to get angry easily. anyway, you are the best and i look up to you more and more all the time. hope you are feeling well :)

Kamille said...

I have a lot less to say: Thanks for the reminder that we can let go with the help of the Lord. And squeeze Livi, just not too hard on her belly; you could hurt the baby. And by "the baby" I mean hers.

Tara said...

You are such a great example to me. Thank you for being so willing to share struggles and insights. I love the story about Livi. Kaylise did very similar things when I was expecting Bransen. They are so funny.

Tina Williams said...

How is her morning sickness? Has it hit yet? Love you!

I was thinking about Jack this week . . . it has almost been a year since I've seen him. I wonder if he thinks it was worth it? If losing the family that took care of him was worth his secular gain? I wonder if he is warm and watching the Jazz or if he is living in the cabin? I wonder if we will even know he has passed on? I'm not really guessing the family will notify us.

Forgiveness . . . such a beautiful word . . .