Thursday, February 25, 2010

Essential -- Positively Essential -- Information

Here's a few little ditty's you should know today:

* I am behind in my Book of Mormon reading. That means that when all was clean and quiet this morning, me and Jacob had a little pow-wow. One day I fully plan on reading the allegory of the olive tree verse by rich verse until I understand every single word said and how it applies to me. Today was not that day. I tried to understand what it was all referring to, but I'm not sure I got it all. In fact, I am positive I didn't get it all. But isn't the language just beautiful? The Double B and I have been discussing Jacob quite a bit lately, as we are in the book of Jacob in our family reading (things go sorta slow when we can only get our kids to sit still for hopefully a page). We both like Jacob -- he seems very, very -- intense. Serious. Weighed down by the depths of his calling. Wise, you know? Which brings me to this verse, which to me sums up everything in the whole entire universe, penned by our very own good friend Jacob:
"O be wise; what can I say more?"
That's pretty much it, right there. Hit the nail on the head! I'd like to be wise myself. So why is it so darn difficult sometimes? I'm trying, Jacob. Seriously, I really am trying.

* You know what? I don't care what religion you are, what religion anyone is -- I respect that. I just respect faith, and for that matter, it is my very firm belief that God respects faith, no matter what faith that is. As long as you love Him, believe in Him, have hope in Him -- I love you for it. And even if you don't, I still love you. I think a persons faith should be respected more then any other single thing about them. And that includes myself, too. I think I'm really nice most of the time, and I think you would like me, even if you are afraid of Mormons. We're pretty much nice. Mostly, I feel strengthened by others expressions of faith. Even if they are not identical to my own, as Sandra Bullock would probably say herself: Hope Floats. If you know what I mean.

* Yesterday I volunteered at the book fair 'cause I'm just awesome like that, and once my friend Melip told me about when she was in charge of the book fair and it was just awful. So I volunteered in the name of goodness and Melip. It was groovy. Except the lady was more then one half hour late -- no big deal, except my honey had to come twice to get me and worst of all -- I really had to piddle (as in pee, ya'all). I had to pee real, real bad. But I was the only worker in there, so I couldn't go find a fire hydrant or anything. Then: the worst thing that could ever happen to a pregnant lady. I SNEEZED!!! I contorted myself pretty strangely trying to avoid calamity. And I almost 100% avoided it. But not 100%. And we'll leave it at that.

* I have a cold. So I sneeze, like, a lot. Cough, sneeze, blow. But Liv has a worse cold, so she wins the prize. Double B has a medium cold, so he gets the bronze. This morning Livi was sneezing and Kaje told his Dad "I hope she doesn't have the swine flu or she'll be sick for a really long time!" Good point, brother bear. You are the coolest six year old in the WORLD!

* Yesterday was parent teacher conference. I made my husband go, 'cause I have -- let's say, issues -- with Kaje's teacher. Like, if you say one more thing about my son, we are taking this to the Octagon. I can't even think about her with out feeling my blood boil a little. And that makes me mad, 'cause the kid is in Kindergarten. And, if you are wondering, I am a Mama Bear currently carrying another cub, so maybe my estrogen levels are interfering with rational thinking. I asked the Double B if he was planning on going. He said "Yes. You told me I had to." Which is right. Correct answer, love of my life!!! I knew he'd handle the situation. No fists were thrown. He was kind and also defended our little (big, like over the 99th percentile) bundle of joy. Have I mentioned I love my husband? I knew he was the man for the job!

* You want to hear something romantic? Yesterday me and my man were chill-axin (always wanted to say that, thank you for listening) on the bed as our midgets crawled all over us. I said "Guess what, buddy? You're stuck with me forever!" And he gave me a big bear hug and said "I want this forever." Go ahead and swoon. I know I did.

* All I really want in life is a big steak smothered in cheese and mushrooms from Texas Roadhouse. Is that really so much to ask?

* My birthmark is healing from the latest zam-o. It has taken quite awhile this time, so I go around looking like I've been punched in the cheek (an odd place for violence, but, you know). Here's something interesting you might like: my dermatologist (he's such a nice man, and kinda bald) has been studying up and we're going to try something very exciting for him. He has prescribed me a cream made for the STD Gonorrhea to smear on my cheek. It's supposed to work by softening hard blood vessels (like my port-wine stain birthmark, I guess). The pharmacist told my honey this is like a wonder drug that is now being used for tons of things it was not originally intended for. That news kinda made me sad, 'cause I was feeling all awesome with my Gonorrhea face potential. The birthmark is looking better all the time, which pleases me beyond measure. In fact, if we ran into each other in Costco, you might not even notice it. Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles! Lesson: if you suspect an STD, call me. I've got a prescription for ya.

* Consider yourself appropriately informed. You can now go forward with your day, knowing all the t's are crossed and the i's are dotted. Phew!

* I love you guys. Like, for real.


Tara said...

sneezing during pregnancy is dangerous! I sometimes had trouble when I didn't even think I needed to go!

Tink said...

You're so funny and fun! People tell me all the time just how fun you are! You're the best I am trying to not want to be you but to just be happy being me. But sometimes you make it so hard to do. Anyway...I hope the hope that less than 100% was still somewhere in the high 90's for your sake! Trust me I've been there, and not always when I'm pregnant. I swooned when I read your romantic moment! That was so sweet and tender. OH! And I am with you on the smothered steak from the Roadhouse. What time are we leaving??? Thanks for making my day!

Ducksoup said...

one of the greatest posts of all time...