Friday, March 12, 2010

Deep Thinking On The Way To Costco

Can I just say something that has absolutely nothing to do with the following post?
I know that it is incorrect to capitalize all the words in my post titles. I know it. They don't all need to be capitalized. But they want to be capitalized. And that is all I have to say about that. And now, on to the main event.

Poor Livia has goop in her eyes. This has, in fact, been her life-long affliction. Ever since she was a tiny baby, she has had a vicious and relentless tendency towards eye infections. Poor kid. Just when I stop thinking about it all, another one will surface. This one isn't the worst one ever, but in an effort to prevent it from becoming the worst one ever, we took the Double B to work in case I need to take her to the doctor for some tender loving antibiotics. Note: I am not a child medicator. Please believe me. I just want her to feel better, whatever eye drops are needed.

While en route (it takes us about twenty one minutes to get to our local Costco Wholesale), my husband was explaining the intricacies of the NCAA basketball tournament. I'm slow -- let's say, real slow -- but I think I was catching on. When out of the back seat comes this delightful little memory from K.J.: "Hey, Mom. Mom. MOM! Okay, remember when we went to the rodeo last year and that horse had to do his... duty? That was disgusting."

Hysterics ensued on my part, because I think that may be the single funniest thing I have heard all week. What a thing to remember. The Double B then told me every time he takes K.J. to Grandma B's house to help with the yard he asks if "any dogs have done their duties on her lawn?" That is because in an effort to politely explain why the sandbox needs to be covered, my excellent mother-in-law said it was so the cats and dogs wouldn't do their "duty" in it. K.J. spent a lot of time contemplating what that duty might be before coming to me to ask. Apparently it has cemented in his brain as the one and only way to talk about animal poop. And you know as a six-year-old boy, you gotta talk about animal poop.

I think it is so hilarious. And that really might just be cause he's my kid. I was just laughing and laughing, until he asked me to stop laughing because I was making him laugh and his eyes also wanted to water. I knew the feeling he was having -- he didn't know whether to laugh or cry because he didn't know if I was laughing at him or laughing because he is just so darn awesome. I tried to explain: "Kaje, I'm laughing because you are so clever it's amazing." His response: "I know."

I love a good self-esteem in my kids, it's one of the times I feel like I'm succeeding as a parent. I did snicker for awhile, though.

The laughter reminded me to converse with my honey on a topic I had been contemplating yesterday in my pregnant state. I was kind of laughing at myself, because after I had Miss Olivia my total and complete emotional breakdown took place because the Double B wouldn't stop squirting K.J. with a squirt gun in the house. I mean, I lost it. I locked myself in our bathroom, sat on the toilet, and sobbed like my heart was actually being ripped from my chest. At that time, the Double B knocked gently, then had the good sense to use a butter knife to break in and give me a great big hug, pat my back, and try really hard to hold back the giggles at my pathetic state.
It's a funny memory. I feel bad for that poor little loony bin.
But I also remember my total and complete emotional breakdown after I had Kaje, and that wasn't funny at all. My new baby wouldn't go to sleep even though it was eleven o'clock at night and I just knew I was an unfit mother and nothing would ever feel normal again. And I sobbed like my heart was actually being ripped from my chest.
I don't think that is a funny memory. I feel bad for that poor blubbering wind bag.
So since I know with a surety that after I have this baby I will have a total and complete emotional breakdown, I asked the Double B if he thought it might be better if he did something stupid in advance so that later it would just actually be really funny and not sad. His response: "Do you want me to start now?"

I knew I married him for more then his good looks and kissing abilities.


Ducksoup said...

owe, owe... boy are you romantic. nice documentation of breakdowns. i think i have too many too count. k.j. is hilarious. that kid is always saying funny things. i hope livi's eyes are getting better.

Simmons Family said...

You are so funny. I am glad I am not the only person who has had a few breakdowns for no reason. haha I hope that livi's eyes are better.

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