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Halloween 2022. We had our world record of Trick-or-treaters tonight! Liv's dream come true, she has really been wanting trick-or-treaters to come. Last year we had a grand total of zero, so she plotted with the porch light and a lit jack-o-lantern. They worked. The doorbell probably rang 15-20 times, including big groups. Including the world's cutest little gal who shook in excitement with her big giant eyes filled with glee, and the little boy who got a packet of twizzler's and yelled "ew!" in disgust and threw it back into my bowl. Fast times. 

Here's the red ninja at the costume parade today. "Oh. Hi, Mom!" They performed a dance to Thriller after the parade, so that was really really really cute and fun to watch. He was be-bopping right along. Tonight when we went to get our traditional Sonic corndogs he gave a small demonstration of the dance upon request and then informed his sisters "Thriller was written by Michael Jackson. It really was."

He also got to carve a jack-o-lantern after school. Ish. He's kind of a maniac with a knife and I'm a huge helicopter parent when knives are involved (or probably basically any time, I'm sure my children will be ruined for life), so he designed a really cute face and with our powers combined, it was born. He was disgusted by the guts and I didn't love them, either, but we got through. He was very proud of his creation. We're kicking Halloween trash this year.

Benson loves The Nightmare Before Christmas and Olivia is super creeped by it. Interesting fact for future generations. If you really want to please him and spook her, play the song This Is Halloween, and have a very nice time watching it all go down. Kate sat benevolently in the front seat with me while we waited for our health food at Sonic and enjoyed this moment.

Liv declared her intentions to take him Trick-or-Treating a few weeks ago and they had a fun time together. She had a dream she got kidnapped last night and so that really added to the whole Halloweeny experience for her. She only told me about this after the fact, otherwise obviously I would not have sent her out. But she wanted to face her fear, so she did it. Like the ninja sensei she is. They looked great and Benny was very happy about his candy haul.

Love that Benny and his jack-o-lantern. A Halloween success story, guys. Happy Halloween, one and all.

As for me, I finished up the November newsletter tonight, and felt the full spectrum of emotions today. Including but not limited to: sadness, confusion, deep annoyance, amusement, frustration, tenderness, remorse, rage, love and happiness. And that's not even all of them. It was a full circle day of emotions. Kept a pretty even look on my face through it all. I've got to figure out a way to get my shiz together. But I do not have it together, so I guess I'm running away from home.

Remember being a kid when running away seemed like a viable solution? I ran away once but I forgot my shoes and it was summer, so I only made it a couple of blocks. Now I'm an adult and every time I threaten to run away I only make it as far as Sonic. At least I can get a Diet Coke now. There are perks to adulthood. 

I don't know the answer to me. Someone solve me. But if you did and told me all the ways I'm falling short and suggestions for fixing it, it would really hurt my feelings and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to dig myself out of that hole of self loathing. I'm really a sensitive little bean. I was mad at someone tonight and couldn't even go to talk it out with them, because I knew if I dished it I'd get it back ten fold, and I just couldn't handle that. I honestly couldn't handle it. Some days I can, but not today. And that gets to be okay. I need to remember that there's nothing wrong with me for experiencing the world this way. A whole 15-20% of people are highly sensitive, I didn't invent it. So I'm going to try to be really gentle with our friend Marie and just give her a break tonight. You're doing fine, buddy. You're just fine.

Another Halloween in the books. 

I'm really proud that we reclaimed Halloween this year at our house. I'm glad we decorated with all our fun things and added to them. I'm so glad trick-or-treaters came and we got to hand out candy, including Benny who finally got the courage to hand it out himself just in time for the last trick-or-treater. I'm super glad I have my very own haunted house for my very own family. I'm glad it plays spooky music and flashed lights when you want. I have always really loved Halloween. It was fun to have fun with it again.

Sending you lots of hugs, if you've had an easy day or a hard day, whether it's a smooth time or a bumpy one. I love you. Keep going, keep going.