Monday, October 8, 2012

Twitch, Twitch

It has been a most interesting week. Or six days. Whichever.
Sort of exhausting, really.
We are still trying to work out the details of how this move will all take place, and granted, there are many details to be worked out. At this point it looks like the Double B will head out first... next week, most likely... and get things up and running before the holiday storm of insanity hits in the Costco bakery. In his spare time (ha ha) of living out of a bag and driving a rental car, he will be looking for a place to bring his family. We have a very nice realtor who has been sending us great options to buy, but we are worried about that. If he can't find anything he thinks we'll like he'll find us an apartment, and we're worried about that. Well, I don't know if WE'RE worried about all of that. I am. I am worried about all of that. I think for the Double B it is mostly worry about leaving me to finish getting everything ready to go (I'll be fine), and worry about getting us all back together as soon as possible.
This is interesting.
We've never done something even remotely like this before.
You worry about your kids, especially K.J. because he's such a tender little guy and it will effect him the most, you worry about yourself 'cause who wants to be lonely but you tell yourself to just thrust in your sickle and you'll be fine, you worry about the fact that you're hurting by default the people who love you and are sad you're leaving, you worry about flying on airplanes because that is about to become a necessary part of your life, you worry you're not having enough faith and remind yourself that you said you'd go wherever the Lord sent you, and mostly, you're kind of just worried, and pretty darn scared when it's nighttime.
At least if your name is Marie you are.

But sometimes I'm kind of excited. It just depends on the time of day it is.

Here is a delightful piece of irony: at four o'clock in the morning the day after we found out we were moving, I wrote in my personal journal. There was just enough room for one more entry, and that entry informed my old lady self and my future generations that our family will be moving to the land of gigantic rivers. That journal is about four years old, and covered the greatest time of growing in my life. All the great joys and terrible sorrows that happened during the time I was young women's president. Towards the end it had documented my feelings of unease, that something wasn't quite right -- that maybe we weren't quite where we were supposed to be anymore? And now here we are. It finished at the close of one amazing adventure and the beginning of another. Which has never happened quite this way and I took as a good sign. You know when you're sucked into an amazing book series and you get to the very end of one book where there is a gigantic cliff hanger for all the characters you love and then there is a TO BE CONTINUED in the middle of the page? And you have to wait until next year at this time to find out how it will all work out?
That's kind of how I feel.



THE HILLS said...

WOW! Marie! This is big news. I am so excited for you guys.. As a homebody, I can understand the fears, but part of me is jealous of your upcoming adventures. If you need help with ANY little thing or big thing, please ask. guess what-Paul applied for a job in Lincoln, Nebraska... 4 hrs from Kansas we could be neighbors again someday next year. I'm kinda freaking out though and I hope he doesn't get it... Bakery Manager for the HOLIDAYS--that is a good way to get in the groove. Go BEN!

Ducksoup said...

riese head, i read your post earlier today and have been thinking of you all day. you guys are going to be great. you have said for months now that something was going to change...i should have known you knew what you were talking about. i can't wait to read about all your new adventures. i will miss you like crazy though!

Simmons Family said...

That is such exciting news!! I know it is going to be great for you and your family!!