Night Musings

Today I was the lucky recipient of a root canal --  which is neither rare nor unexpected in my dental life -- just the cards that I was dealt. No biggie. The endodontist that did it was awesome and sooo fast, too, which was a blessing. His assistant was adorable. And here I sit at 1:45 a.m. because that tooth is just wanting a little extra attention. That's okay. I understand. I really do get it. I will fall back to sleep eventually and I feel totally at peace, so what is there to complain about? Honestly, absolutely nothing. Life is good. I was really nervous going in and the Lord supported me, for which I am very thankful.
I also read a study recently that said that having someone you can talk with honestly is even more effective then medicine and counseling combined. I told that to my sweetie and we have both taken that to heart. I am feeling safe to be honest when I'm feeling uncomfortable like I was today and he has done awesome to be loving and free of judgement and a sounding board. He's so awesome. He's not perfect, thank heavens. But he is darn close. I really do love him, and I really do know he loves me. And that makes us incredibly blessed!

This quote from Russell M. Nelson came back into my mind fairly recently and I am putting it into action: "If you really want a certain blessing, you'd better find out what the laws are that govern that blessing and then work on becoming obedient to those laws." Pretty amazing, right? I feel that every single commandment must have specific blessings attached to it. Of course, our Father always wants to bless us and will bless us, but when we are exact in our obedience to individual commandments, we bind him (Doctrine and Covenants 82:10). So I want a sound mind and a sound understanding. That's the blessing that I want. So I went searching to find out what the laws attached to that are. Here is what I found, demonstrated by some of my ultimate Book of Mormon heroes, the Sons of Mosiah: search the scriptures diligently so that I might know the word of God, give myself to much prayer, and live the law of the fast. The blessing attached to those commandments is a sound understanding -- and also, the spirit of prophecy, revelation, and power (Alma 17:2-3). I was doing all those things but I was pretty casual about them -- I wasn't keeping those commandments with exactness. Since I have worked on becoming as perfectly obedient as I can be in those small ways, I have begun to feel the Lord working a mighty change in me. And those results are worth working for with all my heart! I am filled with gratitude and constantly astounded at all that the Savior does and is. He is leading me by the hand and teaching me, and I am so grateful for it. I am filled with love for Him. It reminds me of how King Benjamin describes it -- that we are always so indebted to the Lord, because He blesses us, and we strive to be obedient as the only thing we can give Him back, and then He blesses us more. We can never catch up. And my heart tells me how happy He is to do that for us, over and over again.
The more I learn of Him, the more I love Him.
Here's a conference talk that describes my feelings pretty well tonight: "Drawing Closer To God" by Elder Terence M. Vinson of the Seventy from October 2013. I really love that talk and have listened to it a lot lately. You'll like it, too.

Okay, it's 2:30. I'm tired. Hopefully my lovely neighborhood tooth is also ready to get some sleep. I love you all. Thanks for being my friend.