Sea Camp And Mother Pains

Liv at the last Sea Camp meeting.

My gal left this morning for San Diego to attend Sea Camp! It's such a cool opportunity, and one she has been sooo excited about. She is going down with some students from her school to experience whale watching, snorkeling, body boarding, labs, dissecting, and studying all kinds of sea life. This is RIGHT up her ally. She is a scientist at heart, has an iron stomach, and has a particular interest in the ocean and all its creatures. She's been looking forward to this day for a long time. Happy girl!

I didn't get a picture of her all set to go, which is a bum, she looked so cute and excited. But I am going to give myself a break about that, because really I was trying hard not to fall apart, cry heavy tears, and wrap my arms around her to wail "why you want to leave me!?!?" It's terrible, sometimes. I think I might be taking this mothering thing a little too far, but I just have a hard time with my children growing up and stepping out into their lives --  even though it's what I want for them. But I woke up so sad that she'll be gone for three days, and determined not to worry. She's going to have a great time, I am so excited for her. I love her so much, and hate the idea of her growing up. Is that wrong? I don't know. Maybe if I swaddle her and make her sleep in a crib again? Really, I am not one to talk, because I grew up on my own mother. I'm even the jerk that moved far away. So I can't talk. 

But I'd like to.

This mothering thing is complicated business. KJ is full teenager now with all the complications that involves, in a world that wants to destroy him. That one scares me so bad. I can talk all day long at him, but it is his story and his choices now. I determined last week when I was just so worried about him that the only thing I can control and do is live as righteously as I personally can and hope that as I live close to the Spirit that it might provide some protection for my children. I'm only at the beginning of a long career of having teenagers, and that scares me, too. I hope we can make it.

Good thing I picked the Double B as my partner. Honestly, even though sometimes I want to absolutely clobber him, he is much more able to handle the growth process of our children and can help me through it. He is just fine with them growing up, and even kind of enjoys picturing the day when it's just us. And I'm pretty sure that in that image, it's mostly him golfing and me driving his golf cart around. And that's good, too.

I hope Olivia has the best time ever. I am sure that she will. Hopefully we'll have a full ocean report when she gets back!

Thanks for listening. Again.