Monday, September 14, 2009

The Phone Number Table

I realized again, for the nine millionth time in my life, that teachers are celestial beings and that I could never be one of them.

I got to go be the helper Mom in the Kaje's kindergarten class! It was awesome. I felt so... so... grownup. And oh, the delight of seeing his little face light up when he saw me!
I got to work at the telephone number table as they rotated around the room. They cut and pasted their phone numbers, jumped on the appropriate numbers on the floor, and stared at me while I tried to get them to sing-song their numbers in the most helpful rhythm possible. The best part was the group with my own son, of course. I went around the circle learning their names and got to Kaje and said "You look familiar, but what's your name again?" He sighed in exasperation, rolled his eyes 'till they almost popped out and exclaimed "Mom, I'm your kid!!!" Oh yeah. He had to remind me a few times, 'cause I'd just keep forgetting. "Mom, I'm your kid! Mom, I'm your kid!" I was getting a little concerned about his eyesight, he was rolling those eyeballs so far up into his head. The not-so-best part happened when two little ragamuffin boys were at my table and proceeded to pull each others hair until one handed me a fist full of black hair, roots and all. Brecken had pulled Caeleb's hair right out... like maybe ten strands. I exaggerate not. It made me feel yucky. So I told them again "We don't pull hair at our table." It didn't work. But still, it was fun.

By the time everyone had their back packs on, the bloodiest nose I'd ever seen was handled, and everyone was lined up by the door, I felt tired for the teacher. Every day! Every day of this! How does she do it? So I gave her a big salute and told her I had a blast ('cause I did) and I would love to help again (and I will). And then I walked home with my son, decent and kind (and non-hair-pulling) child that he is. And she prepared for the afternoon class!

I salute you teachers. One week a year is not enough to honor you. You have my undying sympathy forever.

The End.

P.S. I'm sitting here eating a salad for lunch. I am so healthy. Except the cup of ranch dressing I poured on top. Does the cup of ranch cancel out the vegetable goodness? Will my orb-like body be fooled by the lettuce and ignore the caloric suicide of the ranch? Does anyone care?

P.P.S. My son is a kissing cousin.

The End.


Ducksoup said...

you are so unbelievably adorable. sounds like you had a great time. i love k.j.'s response to you. such a cute kid. well happy volunteering. can't wait to hear about next time. and happy salad eating. i still remember back in the days when my mom was afraid i was going to be anorexic ordering a salad at this tympanyaki style type place. i just couldn't stand the thought of eating all that fatty meat. my aunt renee was with us and she let me know a salad with dressing would be far worse for me than the other meal. it really burst my bubble. i thought i was being so healthy. still wish she wouldn't have told me. luckily though now i'm normal and i pour on the ranch dressing too. i love your expression of caloric suicide. you should copy right that. love yah!

Jen said...

I second your teacheral salute.

Ranch is like water, as far as calories go. I'm pretty sure...

Tamari said...

What a great day! Teachers are the angels of the earth...well, the GOOD teachers...and I personally believe that Kindergarten and Special Ed teachers go right to the Celestial Kingdom, no questions asked! :)

elise said...

Teachers are saints. And Ranch calories don't count-- I prayed about it once. :)

Tina Williams said...

I love going to my children's classroom. It doesn't take very long to learn what your environment your child is in. Which children have parental support and who lacks. Who the nice kids are and aren't. Who needs extra love and who you want to take home with you. Keep going and learning - I learned things in kindergarten --- phonics and how to code words to be exact. Let me know when they get to that!

Tink said...

Sounds like fun...actually, I'm quite terrified of being a helper Mom. But I guess I still have a year to prepare really. Still scares me.

The Decaffeinated Chef said...

In case you need a professional opinion to calm your worries, ranch does not in fact add any extra calories when used as a topping on healthy food items. I'm 20 percent sure I remember reading that somewhere.