General Conference! Pretty much the most beloved weekend in my whole church. We all love it, one and all. That is no exception at our house. This is the first time that we have asked our kids to sit through the whole thing -- in the past we would just have them pick a talk or two and then come in and listen to the prophet when he spoke. But last October conference I received the message several times that I need to not underestimate my children -- that they have the ability to listen and learn, too. So we stocked up on special treats and went for it! It was a challenge for them, but they did great, and I was so proud. Here we are Saturday morning as it began:
Kate camped out next to me and I enjoyed her company -- she did good and only had to be reminded to quiet down a few times on Saturday. Of course, she was not under the same responsibility as Brother and Sister, and did get to wander as much as she needed to.
The Double B was able to get home for the afternoon session and promptly fell asleep. In fact, he pretty much slept through all of General Conference. While his new department is awesome and he loves it, he pretty much sleeps every second he's home. Did his spirit take any of it in by osmosis? I'm not really sure. That is frustrating for me, to be sure, but I'm me and he's him, so that is his choice. I was happy to come down from a bath on Saturday night to find that not only was he awake, he was in position for the priesthood session. Pretty cute. I like the tilted head -- kind of like a puppy!
It was a great conference. I heard many things I needed to hear, which I am grateful for. Spiritually fulfilling and spiritually exhausting! That's when I know it was good, because I was stretched. This morning Katelyn told Andrew "I really just like Phineas and Ferb better then General Conference." Hilarious! I remember being little, too. I'm sure the Lord understands!
I have been profoundly under the influence of hormones the last few weeks. Driving myself and I'm pretty sure everyone else crazy! I don't like to be snappy, and I really have been. I am hoping to crawl my way back to the sane table very soon.
This week I've been pretty homesick, which is sort of funny since I'm about to visit home! I have found when I get too homesick that seems to open the door to my little black dog and I've been feeling pretty down. Thoughts that are not usual for me, that are very down on myself and are hurtful, try to visit. This goes against my fundamental beliefs on how we should treat ourselves. I honestly, truly, really, profoundly believe we should be kind to ourselves, a friend to ourselves, patient with ourselves. I believe when we are kind to ourselves we are kind to others, when we are at peace with ourselves we are at peace with others. I think this takes lots and lots of self mastery to do. Lots and lots and lots of practice. As in... practice over a lifetime. So I try to banish those thoughts and immediately push them out of my mind, because they are not welcome there. My body is strong and is doing a great work, and it doesn't have to be a certain way, and it doesn't have to look like anyone else's. My mind is my own and it's quirks are kind of fun and unique, and I am glad it doesn't work like anyone else's. It wouldn't be mine if it did. I am a rough stone rolling, I don't have to be perfect or "whole" yet, that is why I get to take this journey. And I am not going to wait for happiness for what I perceive as the right time or place, because this right now is my perfect time and place, the perfect opportunity for me to grow. I am in the good ol' days RIGHT NOW. So breathe. Breathe. Be present. Be grateful. Be patient.
I love life. I am so glad I have the opportunity to live it!!!
In closing, I would like to share this picture with one and all, but especially my mother. I let Olivia go to school this way:
When she came out with her outfit I found it very... interpretive. Plaid shirt, flower skirt, Mary Jane's and socks pulled up almost to her knees. I was going to ask a few questions about it, but I just couldn't think of anything she couldn't counter... and she felt so very, very pretty. So we did her hair, I took her picture and I'm sure she is feeling like the Queen of Arabia today! The experts would find me very progressive.